Inside out
by YukirinSnow
Summary: When Allens birthday comes at the new Black order headquaters He run's away, afraid and scared that his friends are suffering from the Fourteenth's influence. Allen is left with the choice to Stay or Run Yullen rate M for Violence, Language, Lemons ect.
1. Outside looking In

Allen Walker is a manipulative bitch who claws his way into everyone's heart, and Kanda refuses to fall victim to that kind of scheme.

Allen tilted his head that fraction of a millimeter, silver hair tousled and shifting with the slight weight that is gravity forcing it to move with him his soot covered face smiling and opens his mouth to speak words that should honestly be kept un spoken, "Welcome back Kanda"

Kanda looked at the younger man before him, the swordsman didn't flinch hearing that underlying tone knowing that it held more.

Allen stared up at Kanda like always silently cursing his inability to grow just a fraction of an inch taller so he can wipe the cocky smirk off the swordsman's face, or just too slightly rub in that he was bigger than Kanda for once. "Are you hungry? Jerry went on a spree and cooked all these different foods the cafeterias packed, and no one can finish them off." he says smiling dishonestly like always.

"Not really" Kanda stated walking away from the younger he had, had enough of that little brat looking at him with those eyes. He knew that soon he would be gone forever, and the thought of not having fights with the beansprout were the worst thoughts. Kanda would be damned if he admitted that willingly or out loud. His attention was turned towards Allen again when he realized that Allen was in fact speaking to him.

"..Kanda..." Allen's voice lowered just an octave, the worst , very rare, "...would you please eat with me..." truthfully Jerry had gone on a spree but for a totally different reason...a loud mouth rabbit had just accidentally gossiped around that today...the 25th of December was his birthday. Allen's dreaded day,"...I thought y'know maybe...since I'm turning 18...you'd join me for something to eat" he murmured silver-grey eyes looking down with a silent conformity that was and is Allen Walker. Not only a day of joy but of bitter sadness of abandonment and Allen found only Kanda could share that distasteful memory and understand it.

Kanda stared at Allen looking him over, trying to think of the best possible way to approach the current situation, He sighed he knew that something was up with the kid. December 25th the worst day for him, could Kanda say no? "I guess, but only for a little while" Why was he so powerless against Allen he would never know.

Allen smiled and walked up beside him," We can stop at your room so you can clean up I'm sure you don't want to be seen right after a mission looking so dishevelled and tired." leave it to Allen to see past Kanda's hard bitter exterior to notice the weary eyes, slightly sagged shoulders, and tense knots.

Kanda was shocked that Allen could see how tired he was, but then again this creature always knew just what was bothering him. Without saying a word he started to walk towards his room '_The smell of akuma is too strong on me today as well_' Kanda thought distastefully.

Allen could smell it too, but respectfully did not mention it to Kanda out of respect he didn't need to voice what Kanda already knew."..." he closed his mouth without voicing his concerns about being a year older what made 18 so different from 17...the difference was 18 could mean his number was literally up within the Black Order. Though he secretly felt relieved that Link had given him benefit of the doubt and let him wander freely about the order without being constantly under suspicion all because it was December 25th.

As they quietly walked towards Kanda's room Kanda took notice of everything about Allen the way the silver strands of hair moved with every step, the deep nervous breaths he was taking almost as if thinking of something important, how the heat from Allen's body seeped towards him. Kanda needed a shower bad!

When Kanda was prepared to go to the showers Allen spoke again after the long deafening silence,"...would you like me to carry anything for you?" he questioned softly. It was unlike Allen to offer to carry anything for him considering they were usually fighting or avoiding one another on a normal basis.

Kanda smirked ' _I might as well have some fun' _slowly starting to strip Kanda placed his jacket on Allen's shoulders almost snickering at the way the coat was just a little too large for Allen, god when had Allen gotten so skinny. He then slowly started to undo his many belts as he opened the door to his room stepping in and waiting for Allen to follow

Allen blinked and followed taking the jacket off his shoulders and holding it in his arms wondering if Kanda was being a jerk and just playing a twisted game of dress up, He wouldn't know as he silently and obediently followed the black stallion.

Walking into the showers Kanda slowly started to strip, taking of the belts of his pants and zipping down the fly and slowly exposing his chest to the younger man behind him.

Allen froze inside the showers and gulped silently, before resigning himself too just closing his eyes temptation without consequences was a fair choice indeed but temptation with a violent swordsman equalled nothing but misery at the tip of a sharp sword.

Kanda not being shy turned on the showers and stepped in. Sighing he let out a long breath. The feeling of the hot water touching his aching muscles was so soothing that he could hardly stand it

After a few moments something gently pressed against Kanda's back massaging the tightened and knotted muscles out of the tense swordsman's back. Allen against his better judgement had stepped into the awaiting lion's den, to try and sooth Kanda more his back looking so tense. Allen marvelled for a moment Kanda's back was so big.

Kanda leaned into those hands that were making their way through his body." You know I think we finally found a good use for you Moyashi"

"Shut up." came his reply as he continued and stopped for a moment pressing his wet forehead against Kanda's back thankful for the water pouring down on them both he reached an arm around Kanda's waist to retrieve the sweet smell that was Kanda's soap.

Slowly Kanda placed his hands on Allen's and with lightning speed brought the boy into the showers pressing him against the shower wall and started to nibble the exposed neck before him

Allen blushed and closed his eyes and leaned his face down some to kiss Kanda despite better judgement...his judgement really was senseless.

Kanda leaned in and took hold of Allen's mouth conquering it with his hot tongue. His arms wrapped around the smaller male pulling him close. Kanda took Allen's legs and wrapped them around his waist and hoisted him up so he was pressed between him and the shower wall.

Allen held on not needing to tighten his grip, for some reason he felt as though Kanda wouldn't drop him. He continued the kiss, tangling his fingers in the long wet blueish-black strands of Kanda's hair.

Kissing down Allen's jaw line he kissed a line to the small ear taking it in his mouth and tracing a hand slowly across Allen's chest and started to unbutton Allen's wet shirt tickling the exposed skin with his fingertips.

Allen would need to retrieve dry clothes from his room before they went to the cafeteria where everyone was still preparing. He'd spied it earlier.

"Come on pay attention to me" Kanda pinched a perk nipple "or I might have to stop"

"Ngh...I'm...sorry" he murmured and ran his hands down Kanda's back slowly caressing the sore muscles delicately as he ground their hips together creating a pleasant friction.

Kanda moaned into Allen ear "that's better" Kanda's hand moved lower following the path of water that was forming and started to zip down Allen's fly taking out the hard member before him.

"Mm..." he sighed softly glad he'd removed his boots and socks before daring to over step the threshold of the shower.

Kanda ran his hand up and down the member before him, he slid the pants down to Allen's ankles and started to rub their exposed self's together squeezing Allen hard.

Allen stepped from the clothes leaving himself exposed before the well-toned swordsman suddenly his kisses became fiercer, hotter, and more needy. "Bakanda..." he breathed as he sighed, "...please..." he said hoping he wouldn't have to speak any more hoping Kanda understood.

Kanda sped up his pace, rubbing their erections faster and harder. He brought his fingers up to Allen's mouth and pressed them past the silvertte's lip, "suck" he ordered non to kindly, but Allen was more than willing to comply. Once Kanda deemed his fingers completely lubricated with Allen's saliva he pressed him against the wall a bit tighter. Lowering his hand his finger's found Allen's entrance and without wasting another moment he slid the first finger into the lithe teen to prepare him.

Now Kanda may have been a rough lover, but he was a careful lover too. He always took precautions when dealing with Allen, always afraid to break the smaller exorcist. "Ka…Kanda" he heard Allen groan out. "Shh…let me deal with it just feel." He muttered against Allen's ear. "M'kay…"

After a few thrusts he added a second finger and soon a third, making sure to stretch Allen's entrance well enough that it wouldn't hurt when he received him.

"Are you ready?" he questioned and received a swift nod from Allen who'd pressed his face into the crook of the Samurai's neck to hide his face from him. Kanda knowing he wouldn't receive any more for an answer quickly positioned himself at Allen's entrance and looped an arm under Allen's left leg to expose him more. "Deep breaths" he said reminding Allen not to tense up or it would hurt, pressing his right hand to the wall where he'd looped his arm under Allen's leg began to slowly push into Allen. He heard Allen take a quick breath as his arms tightened around his neck; he felt himself move past the tight ring of muscle and made a sigh of relief too low for Allen to hear over the pounding rush of the hot water pelting them from above.

The hard part was over now that he'd gained access to Allen's body. He pushed himself completely inside the other and began to move without warning but the moans of pleasure renewed his vigor in the moment and he set a pace. Though it didn't stay controlled long, it quickly melted into frantic thrusts and harsh kisses that would leave bruises later. Kanda laid hickeys and bites over Allen's pale flesh without much concern, not really caring who might see them. Allen was a young and healthy boy so it wouldn't be unusual to people who saw them. They'd probably write it off as Allen having fun in town, they were exorcist's not priest's; not exactly sworn to celibacy [1].

"Ka…nda" Allen groaned out softly and swallowed hard, "..Close" he whimpered and Kanda picked up the pace and grabbed Allen's erection between them and stroked it slowly trying to make sure both of them would finish together and began biting every trace of skin his mouth could reach.

Allen twitched before he saw stars," ungh!" he came against their stomachs with a cry.

Breathing heavy Kanda mumbled his release against the boy and slowly lowered him down to the floor. Allen gratefully sunk to his knee's unable to stand, Kanda had made them feel just like jelly with that display of affection. Kanda pulled Allen close as he grabbed the soap and started to clean up "I'm home Moyashi"

Allen glanced up slightly through wet white hair," Welcome home...Yuu".

Oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

When they were cleaned dressed and warm Allen made his way into the cafeteria first so he would receive the blunt of the loud noises and congratulations plastering upon his face a fake smile before Kanda would walk in.

After getting dressed Kanda slowly slipped into the cafeteria and watched as Allen got glomped by the rabbit and hugged by Lenalee and yelled at by Komui. Kanda stood back against the wall this was his spot where he belonged on the outside looking in

The night was Merry filled with antic's congratulations, games, and laughter. It wasn't to last thought because Allen's heart was heavy.

After a bit Allen stood before Kanda staring at him again mouthing some words silent ones that could make or break their situations...Allen had found a way out finally A way out, 'good-bye' he would mouth silently unheard by the bustling of voices before he would turn and slip through the crowd and into the hall walking towards his room,"...Ave Maria Gratia plena" he sang to himself it seemed just slightly appropriate for the situation.

Oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

**A/N: nyah! My second fan fiction ever it's been about six years since I last posted a fic but lately I've really been into DGM. Since its summer I also have a lot more time for stories I need to give credit to my friend who helped give me the inspiration needed to write this it's going to hopefully be a continuing story!**

**[1] Celibacy -****abstention from sexual relations****.**

**Please review! Constructive criticism is welcome too. (Hands out Soba and Dango)**


	2. Covert Operations

Being pushed into the inn Kanda was not amused all because the rabbit said that threatening the humans was not 'nice'. Kanda didn't really care he needed to find the akuma and slice him good.

The Owner looked up and noticing it was someone from the vatician he smiled," welcome what can I do for you?" he asked as best he could in english.

After Lavi got the rooms he threw Kanda a key"now go relax before you kill someone"Kanda not saying anything just headed up the stairs. Looking for for his room he came to #1225,and what see saw stopped his heart.

Allen stood up brushing his hair back from his face he used some make up to hide his cursed eye and he looked like a different person he'd just finished lighting the fire and saw Kanda he froze in place gulping it couldnt be not now so instead he smiled,"ah didn't know we have guests well there's fresh towels in the bathroom and the beds freshly made the fire should warm it up in here pretty quickly" he said walking towards him his voice a little deeper thanks to practice,"...If you need anything just holler." he smiled before bowing and going to walk out.

Kanda just stood there as Allen walked pass him his breath caught in his throught. he snapped back to reality when to the door to his room out into the now empty hallway he let out a pissed "damn it must be dreaming of you again" kanda disappered into his room to take a long nap.

Allen hid behind the wall of the stair well and breathed a sigh,"...that...was too close." he murmmured before walking into the kitchen later when the dinner buzz began,

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"Hey Alex! time to take the guests their suppers." he nodded and when he spotted the soba he was slightly suprised they even made it but knew exactly who it went to," Alright." he said and when he arrived he gently knocked on the door to Kanda's room.

When no answer came he blinked," maybe he's in the bath." he said turning and delivering the meals to Linalee and Lavi.

'damn it' Kanda kept thinking sitting in the large bath leening against the side nothing could get the thought of Allen out his mind 'this is getting worse now im seeing him where ever I go'.

After playing covert operation with the other two he finally made it back to Kanda's room with a fresh plate of soba he'd decided to toss his hair into a pony tail to try and protect himself from being recognized He knocked softly on the door,"excuse me sir..I've come to deliver your meal." When no answer came yet again he balanced the tray and quietly unlocked the door going inside he began to set it out on the table arranged just how kanda liked it,"Sir...I've um brought you the dinner you ordered I'll leave it here on the table for you." he called feinging innocence,"...I hope it's to your liking." he said he lingered for just a second taking in the smell that was Kanda's soap begining to leave.

Mumbleing to himself Kanda wraped a towel around himself and started to dry of when he heard a knock. "that voice...Kkanda reached for the door *please dont let me be dreaming again*,he opened the door

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Allen was already gone the meal there upon the table, He was already down stairs mixing with the rest of the customers and around midnight he was finally shuffling the last drunkards out the door,"...bye...please come again and get home safely stay away from dark alleys." he always gave this warning feebly to protect them from lurking Akuma,"I'll go die the fires and then I'll head off to bed myself." he said to the owner who nodded," Good-night Alex." he nodded before heading upstairs he would knock on the door and if he received no answer he'd unlock it and slip in. he had to do this with Linalee and Lavi and hoped he would have luck with Kanda and knocked once.

"Go away" came Kanda's muffled voice trying to surpress a moan that was trying to escape. Kanda was in the middle of a problem that all these 'Allen sightings'caused and hell be damned if he was going to stop now

Allen blushed knowing that suppressed moan well," umm sir...I need to die the fire it'll only take a moment." he called again.

"...fine" kanda put his pants on but not a shirt and didnt zip up his over to the door he opened it without looking at the help.

He almost just gave up the charade to toss himself in Kanda's arms at the sight but repressed it," tha..thank-you." came his shaky reply and quickly bustled in retreive some water from the bathroom and walking to the fire he placed a copper tin over top the small fire and poured the water in so steam and smoke didnt surround the room.

Kanda watched the boy,from behind they looked so much a like."boy..... whats your name?'

He stiffened slightly before answer,"It's Alex..sir....Alex Wind." he said turning around head down eyes averted.

Trying to look the boy in the face he could almost swear he was looking at Allen but he knew it was had silver hair and pale tan tasty skin,this boy had bown hair and almost pale not his got a idea."boy you said eariler that you just said to yell if I needed help right"?

He gulped,"yes sir I did..but I'm now off duty..." he said trying to guage Kanda's facial expression.

"Well thats good then you can help me for free" Kanda walked towards the younger it was not for that damn hair he could be his Allen. "you see over six months ago a damn moyashi left me very unsatisfaid and I was woundering if you might like helping" Kanda leaned in closer, a breath hairs away from thoose lips"damn you even smell like him"

His eyes widened and he shivered," no! I'm sorry!" he said feeling tears stinging his eyes he knew Kanda was doing something and already suspecting him," excuse me." he said bowing and running out.

'damn but he is cute....not as cute as Allen'Kanda retired to his bed to take care of his little problem, moaning Allens name and crying a little at the same time

oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo

Allen breathed heavily no sleep tonight he needed to find the innocence now and get rid of them he needed them gone. He jumped out the window.

oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo

A/N: okay so another short chapter sorry I'll try to make the others longer. Again please review i really like some feed back! (tosses cookies and Allen plushie out to crowds) Accept these Allen Plushies with all my love!!!


	3. The clock strikes twelve

The morning came and the owners wife was about to wake-up Allen to come serve the three hungry excorsists when the owner stopped her," He got to bed late let the boy sleep Alex works very hard." stated the man and she nodded and decided to take their orders. Infact Allen was soaking a bruised back and washing Akuma blood from his hair.

Kanda woke up in the morning to find he was still alone,with no allen in dressed he left his room to greet Lavi and Lenalee as they all went down for breakfeast

"Oh lovely your awake" came the owners wifes reply," sorry I'll be serving you seems our other employee is sleeping in." she stated and no sooner had she said it did Allen come down the stairs wearing a white shirt black vest and black dress pants sporting a white apron,"Good-morning what can I get you to drink." he asked smiling god he missed them...he missed their fights laughter their smell and presence he missed sitting with them being insulted for his enormouse appetite and arguing with Kanda only to make up when no one was looking," So?"

Kanda looked towords the teen giving a small smile "green tea" he said sitting down at one of the tables.'why is it that boy makes me so calm'

Linalee ordered Orange juice and Lavi black coffee he smiled," coming right up." he said sauntering into the back returning moments later,"Have you all decided what you would like to eat?" he asked holding up a pad and pen.

"miso soup" was all that Kanda said as he looked at the boy giving his body a run down ' small but strong build,short and that ass it not bad,very similar too....'Kanda looked down at the table 'damn i miss him,......'

When the boy come up with the food Kanda watched way he moved was so 'Alex' placed the miso soup infront of him kanda was shocked taking in the young mans scent he could no longer take it. why did this youth give him heartach. Slaming his hands on the table he stood up " DAMN IT MOYASHI!" with that Kanda left the room heading back to his bed.

Allen jumped had he been found out,"..o..oh!" he gasped Linalee smiled apologetically," sorry he must of mistaken you for someone else I'll take him his food." she said and went upstairs Allen placed a hand over his heart earning a laugh from Lavi," don't worry he causes heartaches in anyone he meets teen or senior." he said and continued eating.

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Kanda was pacing his room'why.... why damn it its almost been a fuckin year why cant I forget him.'

Allen was let go later and came back not long after rushing upstairs," just going to have a nap!" he said and rushed into his room locking the door,"thank god I found it.:" he murmmured eyeing the innocence in his hand and began to package the delicate parcel.

the tattoo on Kandas skin was growing again and this time it hurt kanda let out a scream that could break your ears

Allen blinked hearing it and placed the innocence under his bed and rushed to kanda room," sir?! Sir! I'm coming in!" he said opening the door and stepping inside.

there Kanda was hunched on the floor he ripped off his shirt to expose the growing tatto now covering a large percent of his upper body.

He gasped," Ka-" he covered his mouth,"..sir...are...you alright?" he asked sadly.

Kanda almost in tears looked at the young boy"yes this is nothing "he said "i just love screaming in pain" he looked to the boy"are you an baka help me to the bed and get that dumb as rabbit in here NOW!"

He ran to Kanda and did what hed been hoping to avoid touching him he hauled him to the bed with ease laying him down his hands lingering just a fraction of a second longer before he rushed out of the room to retreive lavi which he did and stood in the doorway watching.

Lavi kneeled down towards Kanda handing him some pills"come on yuu, i told you not to push yourself too much or it would get worse". Kanda shallowed the pills in a sec"Shut it damn rabbit, im going to find this akuma and find Allen if its the last thing i do, i have to make them both pay Kanda finally fell alseep from the pain when Lavi looked at the boy staning in the door way"sorry about this... you see for the last five months my dear friend here has been getting sicker and sicker"

Allen shivered if only Kanda knew how close he really was he'd probley receive a beating on spot," ....S..Sicker..." he stuttered,".t..tell me..why please." he then covered up," you see I want to be a doctor and Ive done some studying." he said.

Lavi looked towards the young boy"ok but dont tell him I told you."Lavi took a breath " about five or even six months ago after Yuu-chan came back home from a mission and was badly hurt, damn ass was trying to hide it all night. Some akuma blood got into his system and as slowly been eating away at him. His tatto shows his life line and when it tries to heal him of the blood it slowly drains his life and there is still alot of blood left"

He breathed suddenly surging forward grabbing lavi and hauling him down the hall to his room he tossed him in," Can you keep a secret no matter what is.." he said suddenly.

Lavi looked at the boy

"Say it!" he said almost grabbing him," tell me you can keep a secret and you won't say anything." he said.

"ok what is it, I promise I wont say anything"

"Lavi...It's me Allen." he said tears brimming his greyish eyes,"...I'm Allen." he said.

Lavi looked at the boy"funny funny,but please dont say things like that around me"

"Its true! your the bookman jr and you drive Kanda up a wall every day by saying his name. your favorite catch phrase it 'strike' Linalee's brother is an insane physco with a sister complex." he said the words coming out in a tumbled rush," You call Bookman panda and Miranda is skitish krory had these plants that almost ate us and this." he said and wiped the make-up off the one side of his face," is my pentacle" he stated tears now avidly streaming down his face sobs almost prepared to break forth.

Lavi stood up "A..Allen!" Lavi hugged the boy before him and cried"YOU dumb ass where have you been all this time you had us worried sick"

He shushed him," I had to leave it was becoming to painful...you wereall suffering because of me specially Kanda this was the only way I could freely move and I've been sending Innocence I collect to you all I'll quit here soon and move onto the next place but please..don't tell anyone." he said," I can save Kanda...." he stated solemly.

Lavi was so shocked that he couldn't even speak."wait what do you mean you can save Kanda,do you know how much he misses you damn it. for a whole month he was the only one who would be allowed in your room if anyones eles came in they got the sword"

"My blood has anti akuma traits it nulifies and restores damaged organs and eats the posion." he said retreiving a dagger he slit his palm open and began to drain some of the dark red liquid into a vile,"if you give to Kanda in his drinks and food the blood will heal him...h..he'll be safe." he said softly.

"what about you Allen? I mean I know it gose against the church but you must know that Kanda loves you" Lavi stepped back "after you lefted Kanda wouldnt leave his room for anything nothing even training, and everythime the mark grows he calls for you 'I'll find you brat', thats all he ever says"

He corked the vile his own hand already healed," I cant go back yet not until....not until the earl is dead..." he said softly," whether you guys like it or not and Lavi you knowing the extent I'm connected to the noahs and each day I was with you I was so damn afraid that I would harm you all I literally had link tie me to my bed posts each night before bed." he said handing the vile to him "This will last a month I'll send a new vile with the next innocence be sure your the one to receive it before anyone else." he stated.

Lavi pouted "ok Allen I will do what you say but please do me one thing before we leave, and I can make sure we are gone in the morning"

"What is it." he asked almost silently.

"Just visit him,enough though his is asleep just you being there will help a great deal to calm him down"Lavi begged "just once please Allen"

"Fine...but he better remain asleep if he wakes up and sees me he'll drag me back kicking and screaming." he said applying some new make-up and putting on gloves as he left,"..dont tell Linalee." he said finally going to Kanda's room seeing the sleeping swordsman made his heart ache and he sighed walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed he began to stroke kanda's hair.

Kanda was dreaming he had to be there he was the only person that made him happy even for a second,there he was right beside him looking down at him. Kanda mumbeled "Allen"and a "love you" but didnt wake up as a tear fell.

He wiped it away leaning down he stole a kiss," love you too..." he murmmured and after a while left and gave Lavi the package in secret," in a month you'll get the package." he muttered.

Lavi cried but bowed to allen "thank you,we will be gone in the moring"

He hugged Lavi,"thank-you." he said and smiled," I'm sorry this isnt easy but it has to be done okay just....tell Komui....that the clock tower strikes twelve he'll understand."

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A/N: slightly longer chapter yays! this one was more 'll start to get better flames are not welcome and if i see them they will be used to roast marsh mellows. please Review!


	4. Of Bleach and Kisses

It was morning when kanda woke up"man im soar" Kanda looked at his chest "the mark got bigger I see" Getting dressed Kanda heade down stairs.

Allen was already serving breakfast the special liquid that was his blood mixed into kandas food," enjoy." he said and walked back into the kitchen silently.

Kanda ate his food in quiet when Lavi came to the table and cleared his thorught

Linaalee glanced up," what is it Lavi-kun?" she sipped her orange juice and Allen eavsed dropped.

"That was Komui its seems we where to late the innocene in this area has been sent to headquaters"

"Really.." she asked suprised,"so..there...was no innocence.." she said,"well I guess we get to go home then."

Kanda stood up angry"tch and here I thought i could finaly kill something besides boredom" Kanda took mugen and headed towrds the exit. As he walked by Alex he walked up to the boy and place a strand of brown hair behind his ear. Listen Im sorry about last night with scaring you, but I mean come on you are so much fun to tease."Kanda leand in closer so he was whispering in Alexs ear"dont you think for a second that Im gonna give up on you Allen I've been waiting so long for you,and I will get you back"

He froze,"w.. are you talking about?" he feigned innocence again,"...who's..t..this Allen?"

Kanda looked to make sure noone was looking and kissed Allen on the lips and pulled away " I could never forget your scent or that ass"Kanda groped Allens backside before he pulled away and said "come on baka rabbit we better get going or we will miss the train"

Allen covered his mouth with a sigh eyes wide he waved bye to linalee silently.

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A month passed. "Lavi is it just me or is Kanda-sama's health improving?" Krory questioned.

"yeah it seems that way doesnt it"Lavi said 'now if only allen would come home'

Krory sighed," I'm sure Master Allen is perfectly fine...he'll come home to us soon." said Krory trying to be upbeat and positive. Later into the night of course the parcel arrived the mute man simply handing it to the bookman jr without a word before running off again.

Of course the vile was there in the package ready for use with a letter asking about Kandas health and saying missions wouldnt be around for a while. it was simple qauint and to the point. eventually though the days passed again and Linalee swore Kandas tatto had gotten smaller until one day,"....CROSS IS BACK! WITH WITH!" the finder was so giddy he could barely speak," MASTER ALLEN!"

Kanda with the rest of the order came rushing towards the entrance ant started to to stare at the younger man before him

Allen was slung over Crosses shoulder passed out no doubt sporting a head wound as Cross Deposited Allen into Kandas arms,"Found him skulking around in Bulgaria idiot desciple got some innocence but I decided I should bring the brat back!" he said swigging some alchole from his flask.

Kanda looked down at the brat in his arms and looked up at cross" why did you bring him back" kanda asked quietly"he dosent want to be here"

Cross gazed at Kanda for a minute or two," I brought him back for the same reasons you wanted him to come....home." he said," now if you'll excuse me." he grabbed Allen by the back of the shirt dragging him along the floor towards the science department,"I'm getting this brat returned to his normal appearance." when allen awoke he was treated to several uncomfertable bleachings a hair cut and many check-ups favour of Komui lee leaving poor Allen tired, hungry, and mildly depressed,"I can't beleive we didnt notice you using the ark to travel." said Reever.

Kanda stood back and watched as Allen was getting the third degree from the science department

He received a sever scolding and was shocked when Komui even took it upon himself to ground him from missions stating he was on house arrest until further notice. "Your dismissed Allen" he stood up trudging out slowly when he came face to face with a chest he winced,"...Are you....going to scold me too..." he questioned the swordsman.

Not saying a word kanda took Allen by the wrist and dragged him up the flits of stairs and to Allens room and threw him to the bed

Not saying a word kanda took Allen by the wrist and dragged him up the flits of stairs and to Allens room and threw him to the bed

He stumbled crashing onto the missed surface with a yelp,"nmphf!" he looked up at Kanda shivering,"...K..Kanda?"

Kanda straddled the young mans waist looking down at him he lost it and kissed Allen with all the passion he had.

He gasped and was un responsive at first but let himself fall into it eager kissing the lips he'd missed for so long.

After invading the younger mans mouth Kanda pulled back and looked at Allen the last few months came back to him and he hit allen with enough force to bruse his lip

Allen groaned rolling hands flying to his face,"ah! god!" he shreiked.

"You Damn Brat"Kanda yelled "are dare you how dare you...."kanda kisses allen again and again

He whined trying to push Kanda away the pain intense with each kiss,"ngh...stop...hurts." he said bettween the kisses.

Kanda stopped and pulled away from allen and off of him unto the bed. "BAKA BAKA BAKA" kanda screamed into his hands tears slowly starting to fall.

He blinked he'd never seen kanda cry...or scream for that matter,"..." he moved closer,"..p..please don''t cry." he whimpered touching his shoulder.

Kanda shook it off his body was so tense he could stap at any looked to Allen "your real right?"

He looked down at Kanda shift to kneal before him on the floor," well if I wasnt real then this lip wouldn't really really hurt" he said taking his hands and not letting go," and I couldnt do this if i wasnt real." and he gave Kanda a tantive kiss.

Kanda kissed back he missed these lips so much licking at the cut kanda again pulled back"this is the only time yuu will every hear this so listen....im sorry for hitting you" And with that Kanda oncs again tossed the smaller boy onto the bed and started to kiss those lips that he missed so much,cuddling with the younger man.

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A/N: okay so don't murder me alright! I know cliffy's suck and such but until I get some good inspiration which should be later tonight when my brain is fully intact I'll give you the lemon! please review! love you guys lots.


	5. Confinment isn't so bad

Allen arched againest the touches the heat was almost too much even the pressure on his chest was suffocating from where Kanda had just slightly placed his hands. Somewhere during the kisses he noticed his shirt had been discarded somewhere oh well he could find it later,"...Kanda..." he breathed his air coming out in puffs ghosting across Kanda's exposed neck.

Kanda was busy kissing and marking every inch of the paler boy under him. Slamming his bottom half against Allen hard. "Im busy at the moment" To prove his point Kanda bite the ear lop before him

"Itai..." he whimpered," calm down It's not like I can go anywhere anyways." he grunted god they hadn't even gotten their pants off and Kanda was treating him like a rag doll. Though he guessed he deserved it leaving for so long he didn't mind being abused some. Though all in all he would of prefered Kanda's soft endearing touches.

"Well if you do decide to escape again this will show the world that you are mine" Kanda slowly made his way down Allens neck line licking up the sweat that gathered there. He found a spot he liked and started to suck, licking and nibbling, until a brusie started to form. After making sure it was up to his standards Kanda kissed it one more time before going further south with one quick hand Kanda found Allens perked nipples and started to play.

"Uh!" a sharp intake of breath and he shivered the touches overwhelming "K..Kanda...please ungh" he could barely breath how could Kanda make him so breathless like this he turned his head biting the pillow as one hand tangled into black strands of hair.

Kandas mouth went further south and replaced one of his hands taking the bud in his mouth he played with it with his tounge. Letting it go with a grin. "please what Allen?" he whispered letting his hot breath tease the wet skin.

"Please...stop...teasing.." he breathed his smaller chest heaving as he brought his knee up to rub againest Kanda's arousel

Kanda smriked, "you made me wait over a half a year, you have the guts to tell me to make it fast" Kanda bites Allens chest. "your the uke,so just do your job." Kanda grabbed a hold of Allens covered member with his free hand and started to bring it to a full attention.

"I didnt mean I just ah!" he arched squirming beneath the taller excorsist his heart thudding againest his ribcage.

Slipping his hand into the younger boys pants Kanda pulls the throbbing member out and flicked the tip."then be quiet" kanda went lower and soon started to pull off Allens pants and boxers leaving the young man naked before him. Kanda followed the sweat the was forming on the paler teen drinking in up when he got to the belly button.

He shivered his body aching with need his own member straining againest his body and his fingers clenched into tight fists,"omphf"

The samuria lifts Allens legs and places then on his shouldersand without a word engulfs the head before him.

A shaky breath escaped Allen," oh god.." how ironic to be saying something like that. "pl...please." his hips jerked trying to get more into Kanda's hot orifice.

Taking more of the panting male into his mouth Kanda decide to be really mean and lowered his other hand to the pink entrance infront of him. Tracing it with his finger he entered slowly

Allen winced,"Itai." it was painful having been so long,"...rrr." he squirmed it hurt even more since it was dry.

Nibbling his way up and down the seeping member Kanda slowly pumped his finger in and out going a little faster each time then all of the sudden added another trying to find that spot deep inside his lover.

Allen by now was all but screwing himself on Kanda's fingers and it drove him mad with the want to have Kanda filling him whole. He then felt the suddeny shootiing electricity that shot up his spine making him see white," angh!" he moaned.

Taking all of the cum that entered his mouth Kanda quickly finished removing his clothing tossing it to the floor not caring where it landed, also removed his fingers from the boy bringing it up to his mouth and spilling the seed unto those fingers. "its been a while i'll have to use this instead" kand spread the milky juices onto his redden member. moving Allen till he was bending in half Kanda entered.

Allen bit his own hand in order to muffle the scream that escaped him it hurt Kanda was so large inside of him and it felt like liquid fire was shooting up his spine he couldnt remember if it had hurt this much when they'd first shared each others company."ngh...K...k..kanda." he choked out as tears streamed from the corners of his eyes.

"ngh" kanda slowed down has he looked at Allen. Kanda came forward and licked away at the tears kissing the mouth that called to him.

"h..hurts.."he breathed looking at Kanda's cobalt eyes with his own silver pools,"...it hurts.." he whimpered as he wrapped his arms around the swordsmans shoulders.

"then you hold on...this will be getting better soon" Kanda slowly started to pick up the pace kissing Allen with all the love he had for him. Invading his mouth and playing with his tounge, Kanda encourage him to play.

He kissed back the pain slowly subsiding like the first time before he moved his hips and received nothing but pleasure,"mmphf!" he murmmured,"move.."

"As you wish" Kanda lifted thoose pale hips higher and slamed down changing the angle each time.

Many pleasure filled moans left Allen as he leaned up to kiss Kanda languidly running his toung across the dark haired beauties own toung the hot appendage quite welcome he couldn't beleive he was here like this in Kanda's arms again even if it was under such unfortunate circumstances.

Kandas emotions where taking over "A..Allen"he moaned taking the weeping member before him and stroking it in time with his thrust.

"Nyah..." he panted he swore if he could see a mirror he'd be beat red and near exhaustion and he would see those horrifying eyes that mocked him day in and day out. The eyes that for the same reason he had requested never to have a mirror in his room when he had gone rouge for what short time he did and for the same reason he both loved and feared Kanda he arched at one particular thrust. "Ngh AH!" he dug his uncut nails into Kanda's back with a almost scream his eyes snapping back to gaze the strong muscular man current screwing him into the mattress of his bed. That had suprisingly survived this long He swore that the bed was cracking under the force used in their coupling.

Kanda couldnt last very long and pulled on Allens member. The black haired samuria looked down at the boy panting under him, even though Kanda would never say it out loud this person was the mlost important thing in this world to him, and even with the ideals of the church against them Kanda didn't care one bit. Moaning in a mixture of pain and extrem plaesure Kanda leaned forward so he was a breath away from the silver teens ear and mumbled "cum for me Allen like you always have and always will"

"S...Shut up! don't speak so vulgarly." he scolded now definetly sure he had turned a bright beat red,"...baka." he kissed him but undeniably he could feel the hot pressure building within him ready to burst forth like a river. He sighed softly hugging Kanda to him never breaking the kiss as he rocked with his one and only He needed Kanda wanted him desired him...He couldnt live with out him.

Kissing back with great passion Kanda felt Allen tighten around him.

Allen suddenly became blinded with the white hot energy coursing through his blood from his head to the very tip of his toes as he arched off the bed with a cry cumming againest his own stomach and chest a little of the white sticky substances splashing up across Kanda's hips and stomach.

The samuria couldnt handel it anymore and with one last thrust he filled the younger boy with his carful not to fall onto the other boy Kanda fell off to the side beside him and still inside him.

Allen panted breathing heavily and his heart sounded like a deafening drum or siren going of in his ears leaving him dazed the ringing wouldnt leave and he stole a glance at Kanda through his dishelved white hair,"..K..Kanda.." he murmmured.

"hmm" was Kandas answer has he stuck his finger in Allens cum covered stomach bring the white substance up to his lips and licking it clean.

"Kanda as much as I love you I must say that is disgusting." he stated," if you wanted to eat something that was white and has the same consistency i would recommend lemon miraguen pie."Allen had tried once to swallow Kanda's own seed but it had proved to be a very unpleasant experience along with gagging and coughing.

Sliding out of Allen, Kanda rolled back over on top of him and started to lick Allen clean "but moyashi you are sweetter then any treat." coming face to face with the boy the drying cum still on his lips Kanda invadeed Allens mouth making him taste it.

He squinted his eyes closed before suddenly pushing Kanda off," stop! whats gotten into you...you usually you would do that!" he said had his sudden depature warped the usually stoic eighteen year old he stood up and began to gather his clothes suddenly feeling a little unsafe near the swords man and he felt as though that were ultimately stupid of himself. He'd never really felt anythin but safe next to the older individual,"Kanda I'm sorry I'm going to bath." he said putting on his pants and shirt leaving it open before reaching for the door handle," I'll be back soon." as he practiacly ran out he whispered,"I missed you."

Kanda fell flat against the bed and palced his arm over his eyes "I missed you too moyishi"and with that Kanda for the frist time in 7 months 3 weeks and 2 days he actualy feel into a deep relaxing sleep.

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A/N: okay! so here's your lemon just like I promised I think it turned out pretty good no? lol anyways please review I love getting reviews (tosses Kanda plushies out) please accept my humble bribes for Reviews!!


	6. Before the Storm

The following day to say Allen was avoiding Kanda was an understandment he just couldnt be near the ponytailed man without turning beat red and breaking out into a sweat. So he hid in the one place he knew Kanda wouldnt dare tread the library with Lavi.

Upon hearing the movement of someone coming into the library, a certain red-head paused, raising his gaze from the book he'd been reading. "...is somethin' wrong there, Allen?" It wasn't normally that the said teen came in here so there definitely was something up.

He approached him slowly rubbing the back of his head,"..I..hadnt seen you since I got back and there are a few questions I have to ask....a couple of them...concerning Kanda." he said the tinge upon his cheeks gone now as he pulled out a chair sititng across from the Bookman jr.

That definitely caught his interest and he plucked his bookmark from off the table and put it in the book for later as he turned his attention to the boy. "...Yeah. Like what?" Part of him expected this sooner or later, and yet he still had to wonder just what questions needed asking at this point in time.

He sat for a moment silently, debating on how he could start there was so much he needed to say and ask since it had been a month and a half since their last conversation together so he started off with the easiest one,"...is...Is he getting better?" he asked.

A pause. Then Lavi offered a small smile as he nodded shortly. "Yeah. Since you've been sending those packages n' such, he's been improving considerably" There was definitely curiosity in his gaze as he spoke, wondering why the other would ask him that of all things. Wouldn't Allen be able to tell on his own?

Honestly Allencouldnt tell Kanda hadnt even said that he was sick in the first place, he had to find out from Lavi the first time. "Thats good." he then breathed softly,"...did the Order interrogate him after I left?" he asked because Kanda had been the last to really see him before his sudden depature.

"Not that I'm aware of. If they did, m'not sure. Tha's somethin' you'd have to go talk to Yuu about." he responded shortly, brushing a lock of copper-red hair behind his ear. Lavi's single gaze briefly deviated from the boy for a second, thoughts running through his head before he sighed inwardly and turned his attention back to him. Maybe he could fully figure out what was going on by this conversation, really..

"Lavi..." his voice broke just slightly as he looked down his hair shadowing his face his shoulders shook gently,"Lavi...I...I'm scared." he murmmured softly bitting his botom lip hard enough to draw blood,"I'm scared that you'll all start suffering because of me." he whimpered the dam of tears finally breaking forth his gloved hands coming up to cover his face.

He couldn't help but let the pent up emotions go now, having held it in this long he needed to cry.

That about broke the bookman heir's resolve. In only seconds. Lavi was quick to get up and go around the table, and after leaning down, he hugged him from behind, resting his head on the boy's shoulder. He wasn't the best at consoling but he couldn't let the poor boy just.. sit there looking the way he was... and those words hadn't exactly helped either. "...No.. No... don't be. Don't be scared, Allen. We're not gonn' suffer. Stop blamin' yourself.." He held the boy close the best he could manage, not letting go. For a man who wasn't supposed to have emotions or a heart, he couldn't stop himself from giving a damn about this. About the fact Allen was so broken and in tears. It... hurt seeing his friend like this and he'd try to help however he could; however slight.

"B...But you are Lavi you were there! you saw what they did accusing me of being a possible traitor!" came the muffled reply his shoulders still shaking," and poor Linalee she shakes everytime someone even mentions Levieres name and Link says it about ten times a day!" he raised his head trying to wipe away the tears," they'll probley turn on all the excorsists if they think theres a slight chance of being betrayed." he sniffed trying to calm down it was no use crying it wasn't like it would change anything," and It's bad enough that Link follows me around all the time now I'm on House arrest until further notice." he said," for all I know they could decide to lock me up!" he was terrified and then without really thinking blurted out,"I don't think I could deal going another day without seeing Kanda's face or hearing his voice yelling at me."

There was a definite pause before Lavi bit his lip and just kept Allen held close to him and he sighed. "...I don't think they are gonna lock ya up. m'not gonna let 'em do somethin' like that to ya, Allen. Neither will Yuu. m'sure he understands and if he cares for ya, he won't let em do a thing to ya..." It was slight but he tried to offer consolation however he could. He did mean it; every word. There was no chance he'd let Allen be taken away to be locked up like that.

He sniffled," Lavi..yuor such a good friend." he whimpered while wiping away the hot tears streaming down his face," but i don't want you too get in trouble okay!! i dont want too ruin you becoming bookman." he said huggin his friend around the shoulder tightly.

A chuckle and Lavi closed his single green eye and sighed softly. "...You ain't ruinin' a thing, Allen. If it's fer a friend, you know i'd end up breakin' those rules sooner or later" Despite his voice cracked, the words said were genuine and matched the very real smile along his lips.

He nodded and slowly stood up," I'm going to go clean up before I go eat I know jerry is dying to see me..." he smiled despite the crying fest he'd just had and touched his friends shoulder before walking out leaving the warmth of the library.

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A/N: okay so it's been a while i got caught up with some others stuff i know there's probley alot of typo's and maybe some run on sentences but I've just been so busy and I don't have a beta. So please read and review i hope you like it.


	7. Storming the Castle

YukirinSnow: So sorry it's been a while I haven't given you chapters but I've pumped out two chapters for you in hopes to make it up. I got distracted and busy with other things! So please enjoy these chapters!

Chapter 8: Storming the Castle

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Allen leaned over Kanda's shoulder quietly gazing at the book he was reading...not being able to follow the writing or the words he sighed. Then smirked getting an idea he gently tugged the pony tail mans ponytail tilting the samurai's head back and kissed him gently.

Kissing the boy back Kanda lowered the book unto the table.

He smiles breaking the kiss," Hello..."

"Un..."was all he spoke before he picked up the book and started reading again.

"huh! un!" he frowned and grabbed the book tugging it away and slipped it inside his vest," your not getting it back now."

"Moyashi" Kanda spoke dark and smoothly, standing up from his chair he faced the smaller male"give it back now"

"No" he said defiantly crossing his arms he'd been around Kanda long enough to not be intimidated by him anymore, sighing Kanda was not in the mood to face Allen right now and decided to let him have his fun. "what do you want"

"I want to know why your in a mood" he said cocking his hips to the right and staring the other down."Well out with it"

I"'m not in a 'mood' moyashi I just want to finishing reading my book."Kanda reached round Allens waist pulling the younger man closer.

He gazed up at him," then why are you avoiding me?" he questioned irritably it wasnt just about the book.

Kanda looked at his lover of almost two years "Im not avoiding you....its just that I have alot on my mind"Kanda rest his head on Allens

"Why won't you tell me then..." he murmmured hugging him," You know I'll always listen." he pouted adorably."Beacuse "Kanda said truthfully" Im not sure how much longer we can be together"

He froze eyes slowly trailing up to gaze at his dark haired knight,".w..what do you mean?"

Landa didnt say anything, he kissed Allens head and hugged him tight hoping the young man wouldn't notice he was shaking.

"Kanda....what..do...you..mean?" he asked again pulling back some to look at him.

Kandas eyes where lowered afraod to make eye contact with the boy.

"Kanda...Say it!" he hissed.

Kanda didnt say anything and just kissed Allen with all the love he has for the boy.

When he was kissed he didn't know what to do but he felt great sadness as he closed his eyes but he couldnt stop the tears from flowing out.

Kanda didnt want it to end. The days they fought, the pain they shared ,and also the love but he knew he would have to stop it, and this might be the best time to do it. Kandas tounge storked at Allens lips begging for entrance.

He stopped it pulling back throwing the book down between them," Kanda..." he could barely speak as he slowly stepped back."Why is it hurting.."

"Allen.." Kanda was afraid,deeply afraid but how could he say it. How do you tell the person you love that it was over.

He stood up straight,"....I had a dream about this..." he murmmured closing his eyes,"...and I had hoped...it was just a nightmare."

"Allen?" Kanda asked

He looked down finding it hard to swallow,"I dreamt it...and even when it was a dream it was painful." he brings a gloved hand up to stroke away some tears he just cant hide,"But having something like it happen for real is agonizing."

"Allen"Kanda took the gloved hand and placed it on is chest."tell me what do you feel?"

He gulps,"..I feel warmth....I feel flesh and bone." he sniffled," I feel a heart beat.."

"yes and has any of that ever lied to you,have I ever lied to you?" Kanda said with a hurt look on his face.

"No..." he breathed looking at him his throat felt dry and it was as if he couldn't breath.

"Good then trust me" Kanda leaned in closer a breath away from Allens lips "trust me" Kanda kissed the boy with great passion and love that he knew Allen would understand. Pulling away Kanda let one last smile appear on his face before....."Get the hell away from me freak!" Kanda shoved Allen down,leaving the youth on the floor.

Allen to say the least was far too startled to understand as he crashed to the floor his head cracking off the stone. Though it hurt it wasnt enough to effectively kill him he'd been thrown thrown building's and survived even hit with innocence. Though he stared at the ceiling trying to comprehend that the samurai had just all but slammed him into the floor. In a moment of rage he sat up," WHAT THE FUCK!" Allen never swore, He grabbed Kanda," what the hell was that for!"

Kanda refused to look at Allen knowing he caused him pain,but from now on this is how it would be. pushing the younger man off he said "dont touch me"the same way he did when the first met heading towards the door he opened it revealing the Blond messenger"Link-san make sure to keep a good eye on your pet before I kill him" and with that Kanda left the room heading toward Komui's office it was time for a new mission one that would take days,no months thats what he needed.

When he tried to persue he found himself on the floor again pinned down by link who refused to let him go," KANDA!!!!" he somehow...for some reason...felt as though his fate had now been sealed. It made his stomach churn as he struggled with Link who finally gave in and knocked the white haired teen unconcious.

After turning around the corner and entering Komui's office he knew this was the end..but hopefully Allen might just might still have a future

Of course when Allen awoke it would be dark the only light the moon and when he would try to move he'd find himself restrained by leather straps," mhmm.." to no avail he couldnt budge not even lift his body,"...Lavi...Linalee...miranda!..KRORY!! KOMUI!!! LINK ANYONE!!" of course he'd no answer desprate enough still though," MASTER CROSS!!! GENERAL TIEODOLL.." why was he bound in the first place.

"So this is the young boy that has strayed from the path of god" the voice was tainted in venom,"what you say we do about it?"

He looked around searching," what do you mean! I'm faithful to god! I haven't strayed!! I still fight for the order!" he was panicking now boarding hysteria," whose there! speak to me please! I've always been faithful!"

"Oh really."said the voice,"then why have you been tainted by the greatest sin"

He froze,"..Sin...what sin?" he asked eyes looking around frantically.

"The sin have homosexuality."

He gulped,"....I....that can't be a sin!! Love isn't...Love isn't bound by books and rules!" he cried out struggling crying and finally his innocence roared to life breaking free of the strands he jumpped from the bed and through the door into the hall," HELP!" he would scream now hysterical not even sure where he was. He felt like a kid...everything it felt so wrong. He felt like he was chasing after mana again screaming for him. He felt like he did when he was experimented on by doctors in hospitals when they found him with such a deformed arm. he felt wrong."Linalee!!Miranda!!Krory!! Lavi Anyone!! Help me." he would scream hoping anyone would hear him.

"Listen Walker Kanda Yuu has already denied this but if it is true about your relationship then maybe we should bring him here too?"

He stopped..."Kanda.....hates me." he said briging his hands up to cover his face the tears streaming," he's always hated me!! always! HE'S HATED ME SINCE HE FIRST SAW ME SO WHY!" he fell to his knee's," why does it hurt..?"

"That I cannot anwser but do you admit that Kanda Yuu and yourself indeed had relations?"

"We worked together so we had relations we are aquainted.." he sobbed into his hands shivering his voice was weak,"..Someone...help me.." he felt so helpless.

"Sir I think this is enough for now, Landa has been punishied for his lies to us must we now do the same to the younger one"a kind soft voice said 'komui, what you say is true...ok then Allen Walker from now on you will be placed on probation,if you do anything to upset the balance of the church not even god himself could help you'"

he shivered," Kill me...someone...just kill me." he sobbed shivering," I can't...I can't...breath..." he was suffocating having gone into a panic attack now it was dangerous as a child he'd had asthma that Mana had always kept in check even Cross made sure he had an inhaler always but when he'd turned thirteen he hadn't needed it but this had triggered another attack.

Komui rushed in to help the younger boy carrying him to the medical ward.

He awoke days later and slowly sat up trying to register everything...looking around slowly before he looked at his arm staring it down...innocence....it was the innocence's fault...It was the innocence's fault he had been subjected to this...it was all the orders fault he had to fight...it was all gods fault he had to be trapped it was gods fault he didnt have a family it was innocence's fault he was corrupted, all these dark thoughts pooled into his head first....and they kept coming...if he didn't have innocence he could be free. that is why he reached for the scaple intending to gouge the innocence out of his hand and if that didn't work he would saw off his arm. anything to be free.

Komui placed his hand on top of Allens "please stop I dont want to see another one in pain."

Allen slowly raised his dead eyes to Komui and then without even thinking let the words slip free. silence seemed to permenate as he spoke but the words were roaring loud. "I hate innocence."

"I understand...."komui paused"Allen do you remember that time when Kanda was gone for a week?"

He gripped the scaple tighter the blade digging into his skin," yes..." he breathed.

"and when he came back you two were never allowed to be alone?"

".........." he didn't look at Komui just proceeded to tug the scaple away and hold it tighter," stop....just stop...I..can't fight anymore...I can't...it's killing me." he breathed," stop....stop it..." he raised the scaple high above his head," JUST STOP!" and drove it in over the innocence.

"Damnit Walker,"Komui pulled the dripping knife out of Allens arm."It was too protect you, don't you understand all the time he ignored you why you couldnt go into the showers together, Kanda wanted to protect you!"Komui shouted at the young boy "Kanda didnt want to tell you and made me promise not to but this is too hard"

He grabbed Komui by his robes," you think I care!! fuck you fuck this order and everyone in it! I'm not fighting anymore!! let them lock me up in a fucking cell so no one can here me!! let them fucking forget about me accuse me of working with that fat ass earl. They can kill me for all I care I don't care anymore!! I won't fight I refuse too!! if Akuma come save your own fucking ass cause I'm not going too! I've had enough you lazy son of a bitch! protect me? protect me huh! thats a fucking laugh!! you all have never once protected me each time a fucking akuma reared it pitful fucking head all I remember is someone begging and runing to me saying Walker-san! Walker-san! save us! or were going to die!" he screamed in Komui's face," I didn't see you running out into the fucking feild risking your sorry ass for anyone! all you do is bitch and moan when someone of value fucking dies! I've had enough!!"

"He's dying"

He stared at him," let him die then...at least he'll be free"

Komuei had had enough standing up he slapped Allen across the face so hard it would leave a brusie: "DAMN IT ALLEN LISTEN TO ME!"Komui took a deep breath"Kanda-san loves you" Komuei smiled "he loves you more then anything in this world,but right now you are wasting his efforts,telling him to die. If you love him then let him protect you the only way he knows,belive me its what he wants."

Komui hand over a leter to Allen,"read it".

He looked up at Komui then...saying something no one would probley ever say,"...so when he does die....What the fuck will I do...but be this glooomy ass places pet." he hissed taking the letter he looked down barely reading it,

As far as he was concerned a life without Kanda was no life at all.

_hey moyashi, _

_what the fuck are you doing yelling at komui for? You should thank him for saving your ass. Thats right saving your ass! Komui knows that I love you and I'm not ashamed of any of it. the times we shared together are always in me, even the time when I proved I could kick your whining butt........_

_listen I'm not going anywhere.....damnit you make this so hard, I tell you to trust me but I can just see the look on your face right now all pissed and full of doubt damn it your an idiot, listen brat if you do trust me please do what I ask with no questions..........._

Allen tossed the letter down and got off the bed despite his still bleeding innocence arm. He padded from the room he wanted to find levvier he had a bone to needed to let out his frustration his anger and who better then the hitler wannabe himself.

Komui picked up the letter and read it he understood it all except for the last part,"The cabin by the lake?, wheres that?"

No sonner had Komui asked that question that there was a loud rumble as Allen had begun letting out his frustration using levivere as his stress releif object," you idiot! think your all fucking hiiiigh and Mighty huh! we do all the fucking work for you shits and the second it becomes inconvient you toss us aside like fucking garbage bags! I'd like to see you last more then five minutes in a locked room with a Noah!" he said smashing another vase he'd hurled at the cheifs head.

"Well I guess this means our young Walker will be joing our Kanda in MIA for a while"sighing happily levivere drew up the fake mission reports.

"Send me MIA huh! fuck you! I'll bust your ass in two if thats what you want! see if I care I'm fucking done with this piece of shit order!" he said hurling another heavy object the cheif," Screw you and Screw the heart I hope you get your ass handed to you by a Noah!" he screamed," I'm fucking done protecting your ass just so you can live in fucking luxury!"

He'd had it though part of him felt sorry the Noah half of him was giggling with glee even if the 14th had betrayed the earl it still...still hated leviverer for putting its Allen through so much.

Komui placed a hand on Walkers shoulders"go....go to him"he said in a whisper.

Allen turned to Komui, eyes dark with hatred,"..don't expect me to come back." and with that he left he needed Kanda he wanted Kanda and if the samurai refused he'd kick his ass till he properly agreed.

"Haha I hope you dont....I hope you two will be happy."

Allen though stopped and approached the bookman jr. bedroom and gently knocked on the door he couldn't leave without a proper good-bye to his longtime friend...after 3 years he needed to offer a proper good-bye...he was eighteen a child but adult he needed to be mature.

Lavi opened the dorr surprised to see Allen before him"hey bud,whats up?"

He hugged him quickly,"Good-bye..." he murmmured into the redheads hair,"I'm sorry." he murmmured.

"W..what for" the younger bookmen asked looking puzzeled

He pulled back some,"...I'm no longer..." he chose his words carefully before he fitted something in Lavi's pocket," say good-bye to everyone for me." he murmmured before turning and leaving inside Lavi's pocket Allen had placed his badge...labeling him as gods child...As Gods helpers....as Allen Walker the Excorsist.

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A/N: Alrighty then! chapter eight is full of angsty emoness and emotion! yay for emo's! gotta love them. but besides that I really enjoyed turning Levivere into a theorectical punching bag! just so you know Allen has nothing againest Komui it's just he's really pissed off and really OOC but I think Allen would seriously start swearing up a storm when he'd finally had it. please read and review!! no flamming please. I'll repost the edited version once my beta gets it back to me thank-you!.


	8. Breath

A/N: yay! you got two chapters! thanks for paitence and I'm sorry such a long wait I just got so busy with other things I didn't get to working on this I hope you enjoy it and please review!!

Chapter 9: Breath

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It as been over two weeks now and Kanda was growing impatincent "damn it I never thought this would turn into a mission"Kanda pouted cleaning more akuma blood off his clothes in the lake. "I hope he is ok"

"You have...alot...of fucking Explaining to do." hissed a voice from behind Kanda.

Kanda looked behind himself a shocked look on his face."Allen"

He stood there gazing at the samurai a look of anger..love..confussion, and down right need for explination on his face he was dressed in tight black leather making him look cool and sexy. his hair no longer its soft white was a deep black and he wore foundation to cover his scar. the gloves he wore were black gloves with zippers on the top of them.

Kanda was in awe Allen looked so tasty,but he had to keep his cool,"Moyashi what are you doing here?'

"Same damn question I should be asking you but if you must know I've turned my back on the order.." he said,"I no longer work for 'god'. " he said distastfully.

"Oh." Kanda looked at Allen the younger man looked good,no damn good,"If that is so then I could do this then?" Kanda pushed Allen against the nearby tree and kissed Allen hard.

He let him kiss him but grabbed Kanda's hair tugging him back roughly," yes you can but only after you explain some things." he stated then growled,"..fact of the matter is...they can save their own asses if they think its so easy." he stated.

Kanda looked at the paler boy in shock for a second but then agreed "yes they can,but what about you say we continue this inside? the montains are not that safe."

"Fine...but don't think your getting your own way." he said moving away walking ahead of Kanda he was only about two inches shorter then the other the sudden change Allen seemed more mature more mean...more cool.

Opening the door Kanda followed Allen into the little cabin, it was cute something small Kanda didn't need much,a kitchen, couch, chairs and a bed thats all."Now...what do you want ot say brat?" Kanda smirked checking out Allens tight ass.

He turned facing him,"You selfish bastard." he said in the span of the last two weeks Allen had gone from sweet and innocent and loving to this," you put me through hell and torture, I stabbed myself with a scaple and ended up using leviere as a punching bag and I broke Links nose and arm on my way out of that order." he said,"...So now its your turn to tell me why you started all this bullshit!"

Kanda looked Allen in the eyes and sighed,"fine but just to let you know I didnt start it.....we did two years ago" Kanda sat down on the couch. Allen you know that our feelings are not welcomed in the church we both know this,but we.. I fell in everything about you being the fourteenth came out and Link being your watch dog, I knew that even with all the pain I could stay by your side and protect you but....well you rememer the last mission we had together, the one in England," Kanda looked depressed..

"Thats not important Kanda..." he said," We are all but wanted criminals now by the order..." he said," we've created just what the Earl wanted an uprising in the ranks and doubt now he's going to get in easily now and he's going to come after us...because he wants the heart and he doesnt know who has it."

"Is that call you care about Allen the Earl!"Kanda was pissed"I almost lost you that day I couldn't protect you...then when we got back that night Levivrer wanted to talk to me...I went and found the only way to protect you."Tears begging to fall but Kanda held them back "the Church wanted you dead for loving me for being the fourteenth everything but they agreed to let it slide if we weren't together," Kanda screamed "So I said I loved you and forced you into a relationship with me and begging them not to hurt you and to take it out on me,and thats what they did. I was in the medical ward for a week healing, under the pretence I was on a miision"

He stopped him with a growl," I care because I don't want you to die!!" he yelled over Kanda angry.

"Damn it listen to me" Kanda screamed

"I am listening! I hear it Kanda! I've been head over heels for you since the day we met!" he snapped," I probley questioned my sexuality sixty thousand times over before I finally bucked up and kissed you." he hissed irritatedly,"When you didn't come through those blood doors on the ark I was prepared to cut my own throat! and the releif i felt when you were alive!" he said running a hand through his black hair," each second I awoke in the ward when we healed I thought 'Oh my god is he breathing!' you don't even know how many times i paced the halls of the order trying to figure out with room was yours until you finally let me in." he said," each time you were on a mission I kept wondering if you would come back okay." he said," the greif I felt when I thought you had actually kissed Lavi! Lavi of all people I was prepared to kick his ass!" he said," I'm so god damn inlove with you I just threw everything I had to cling to out the window....because your the most important piece in this hell hole we call a world....so what don't I understand Kanda...that I love you..That I wanted to protect you...that I didn't want any of this pain to happen to us?"

"I didnt want that either... I FUCKING LOVE YOU BUT CANT PROTECT YOU and when this idea come that I could do something I took it" Kanda reached for Allen wrapping the boy in his arms,"even if it means becoming a devil I will always fight for you and you alone"

"Kanda." he breathed burrying his face againest the older man," let me protect you too."

"Allen"Kanda took in the younger ones scent" dont let go"

"I won't." he whispered looked up at him,"I'll never let go." he murmmured and kissed him. This was the end...of the exorsists they used to be...it had really ended...their war hopefully would remain over.

Kanda kissed the young man back,the pain of not being able to hold him was finaly coming to the surface,he slowly ran his hand up the back of Allens dark shirt sliding under it to feel the soft skin.

He tugged Kanda down over him swaying their positions so he was pressed againest the soft couch cushions and pulling off the tallers shirt.

Allen reached up unzipping his long coat and pulling it off along with the sleevless under shirt that was tight. leaving him half dressed as he attempted to kick off his boots.

"Kufufu" Kanda softly laughed helping Allen with his boots,letting his hands message his legs working their way up.

He watched him," This looks like how Judas betrayed Jesus..." he murmmured tugging him up,"...and don't laugh at me pretty boy." he said kissing him again and undressed him quickly.

"Now, now why in a rush I having been waiting soo long to be along with you that I would like to have some fun"playing with the buldge in Allens boxers

He hugged him close,"Honestly I'm not in the mood to be teased." he said flipping their positions," and you've been waiting I deserve some compensation." he said bitting Kanda's throat," Lets...enjoy each other...we have plenty of time to play." he said undoing the asians pants.

Helping the young man with his pants Kanda snicked a kiss in "Fine as long as i get to play with all of you later"

"You have forever to play with me." he said before moving down to take Kanda in his mouth pleasuring the other.

"AHH! fuck Allen"Kanda knew his younger half was in a hurry but damn this was hot.

He enjoyed Kandas moans thoroughly he hummed softly pulling away slightly a thin trail of saliva the only thing connecting them,"...mm." he groaned softly nipping the base as he played with the others balls.

"neh" Kandas hands clawed at Allen shoulders. "Walker just for tonight you can top if you want but if you dont hurry up im going to fuck you right now!"

He glanced up,"I actualy get to turn the Kanda Yuu into a withering mass begging for me to pound him?" he snickered," very tempting I think I'll take that offer." he said pulling off his gloves and shifting the others legs up spreading them apart and sucking on a couple of his fingers he began to prepare the other.

"Danm it Walker dont make me hurt your damn ass when I'm the one you want to fuck it"Kanda hissed

He stopped," what was that?" he asked glancing up at his lover.

Kanda looked up at Allen-pout-using his asian eyes pleded "Allen i need someting can you help me find it?"

"Oh what have you ....?" he snickered he liked teasing the asian," or your virginity?" he snickered," if so I'm not willing to give either back."

Kanda sat up pushing Allen away."fuck it Im trying to be sexy for you and here you are being a bitch thats it you no longer are allowed to top."Pouncing into the younger man Kanda took hold of Allens member and started to pump hard,"and I thouhgt when I first let you top last year that would have been the last of this but no,you still piss me off" increasing his pace Kanda was getting hot all over again

He snickered," Kanda.." he murmmured softly.

"NANI" the asian yelled

He pulled the mans hips down thrusting up into him quickly," I'm topping." he said sexily.

"Ahh" was the only this to escape the asains voice feeling Allen hit his prostate dead on.

He pushed up thrusting into him setting a rythme he was tight oh so tight. He sat up hugging him close as he made Kanda ride him he felt so Kanda couldnt get enough has his hips kept matching Allens"been too long"

"Way too long." he moaned kissing him hard pushing deeper each time hitting Kanda's prostrate as he pumped the asians rigid cock.

"nnnhnn" Kanda could feeling himself getting closer as he held tighter on to Allen marking up his back

He hissed the pleasure mixed pain clouding his mind as he bit Kanda's neck sucking the soft flesh leaving his mark.

Kanda was soo close to cumming he could barly hold on "d..damn brat"

"Go on cum for me." he breathed increasing his pace some...it must be odd for Kanda not looking at the innocent face of allen water but a completely transformed Allen black hair isntead of soft white and clear skin not marred by a cursed eye.

Looking at the brat Kanda was not sure if he should listen but the pleasure was cumming for him "AAH!"

He buried himself in Kanda hugging him down and spilled his hot seed deep within the other. he then felt a little forloned that he should of kept that statue lavi had recovered on a mission because then they could spawn childeren effortlessly oh well kanda probley liked solitude anyways.

Lifing himself up from Allen, Kanda held out his hand with a blush"the bed is much more comfy" Leading the younger man to the king size black and blue bed he pulled him in closer and took a good look at him.

His hair was the same length maybe a little longer it looked just that tiny bit emo and his skin was as pale as ever body toned and skinny. His eyes though were hard like Kandas own.

Kanda ran his long fingers through allens hair"its no long white,I liked it that way, I could always find you." His hand then traced the boys face where he knew the scare was." this curse I am thankful for"

"I dyed it so they wouldnt find me...if they dont notice me I can roam freely without them hunting me." he said softly kissing him.

"I know but the scar always reminded me that I'm here with you for a reason."

"I'll wash the make-up off later..." he murmmureed pulling him down,"..for now...lets just enjoy the aftermath."

"Hey dont get to cocky just becasue I let you top this was only the second time,I mostly do the hard work" Kanda lightly hit Allens smaller chest"you havent been eating,baka"

"I rather enjoy being seme...but Kanda I've always been curious are you capable of being compeltely cute and submissive like a kitten?" he questioned.

"What brat you dont like it when I pound into you"Kanda said nibbling the younger ones neck

"I love it...but I like watching you squirm it turns me on so bad." he murmmured running his hand down Kanda's theigh.

"mhph" kanda pouted" and you dont think I like it having you begging me to let you cum? I love it."Kanda stared at the younger man.

"We suck." he chuckled nuzzling him closer.

"I guess we do"Kanda yawns" well I guess this fight we can have later its been a long day" Kanda kisses the top of the now dark haired teen "sleep well koi"

He smiled," sleep well." he murmmured back closing his eyes but opened them again breifly to flex his innocence arm...how long until they dragged him back...he could only wonder but for now he had Kanda thats all that mattered so he closed his eyes fully prepared for sleep.

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A/N: There you are! chapter 9 intense emotions fire burning...and too much emo angsty-ness but I figure it was appropriate I mean all that torture Allen has to go through dying seeing akuma souls being an accused traitor really starts to take its toll on you. anyways my faithful viewers read and review!! no flames. forgive the spelling mistakes when my beta gets around to sending me the edited chapter I'll repost it.


	9. Changing Lotus

The samurai's eyes opened to be greeted by the site of not white but black hair. 'this is going to take some time to get used to, but I guess I have no choice.' Kanda moved slowly out of the bed trying not to wake his young lover has he headed to the bathroom, he really did love Allen but not is cum, which was now sticking everywhere. Allen awoke while Kanda was in the shower and got up walking to the sink and turned the tap wetting a cloth before beginning to wash the sticky cum off. After ending the shower the older male walked out into the kitchen and totally ignoring Allen making himself some tea. Kanda was just wearing a pair of very loose navy blue pajama bottoms that seem to stay up by magic.

Allen was sitting at the table his legs crossed gazing out the window a pair of black pajama's pants on he'd borrowed from Kanda since he himself didn't have anything else to wear until he went into town. He also washed off the makeup revealing the curse mark before he shifted his silver eyes towards the samurai wondering if he was ignoring him on purpose. "Kanda?" he questioned are a little bit,"...are you angry about last night?" he questioned.

"Mmm" was all the samurai mumbled under his breath not looking Allen in the eyes.

He felt himself tense up the bubbling angry ready to burst forth at the Samurai's cold behaviour but instead he stood up, "Tch...I'll go get some wood." and he slipped on his boots before walking outside to retrieve the fire wood.

Kanda smirked he knew all too well on how to get under the moyashi's skin, and now that he didn't have to worry about hiding his feeling he was really going to enjoy this.

He came in moments later carrying the bundle of firewood and placed it into the fireplace with little word and began to light it with little difficulty now he wouldn't acknowledged Kanda if he would acknowledged him.

Kanda just watched as Allen lit the fire, 'damn this going to be fun' Kanda slowly walked into the room taking a seat next to the now black haired teen just outside his reach. He resigned himself to just looking into the fire letting it consume him. Kanda knew how to play this game and he was well prepared. Well the teen was out being moody Kanda had changed into some of his other 'clothes'. You see on his last mission with the baka usagi, the rabbit had this wonderful idea for Kanda and his lover and at first Kanda fought, and I mean fought screaming threats to the red head. I mean you would too if someone tried to make you wear clothes that just screamed.....well let's just say when Kanda finally agreed half the store was destroyed.

Allen had dressed as well and was seated on the now clean couch his head reclined back in a comfortable way and his eyes closed.

Kanda slowly moved to the floor in front of the younger man, letting the fabric slid against skin. "Allen-kun" the now ex exorcist said in a slow moaning voice.

Allen's eyebrow raised and he turned his gaze down to look at the Samurai and almost choked at the sight.

Spread eagle in front of his younger lover, Kanda wore a silky dark blue garter set that very little too the imagination, his hair was left untamed making a backdrop on the floor. the fire burning behind him made the fierce intense dark stare in his eyes glow that much more. "Allen-kun"

He blinked....and felt a tension in his lower regions before sitting forward bracing his arms on his knees and gazing down at the Raven, "something you trying to get across." he asked with a smirk teasing the samurai. He pressed his foot over Kanda's member pressing down creating friction.

Moaning very low Kanda shifted his hips. "No not really" The Raven looked up to meet his eyes with that of his lover.

Allen looked as though he could be one of the Italian mafia bosses back in Italy the ones Lavi had stated were more frightening them Bookman on a good day. "Tch.....then you wouldn't care if I did this." and he pressed his foot down a little harder.

"AH!" Kanda moaned out load lifting his hips up to meet Allen's foot. "Don't mind at all!"

He pressed down harder wondering if Kanda had lost it he was never this submissive he would have probably been kicking his ass around this time had he done this back at the order.

"why are you hesitating moyashi" Kanda went from a moan to a dark smirk "too much for you?"

He didn't dignify Kanda with an answer instead he simply kicked him over so he was on his stomach grabbed him by a fistful of hair and pulled his head back by it his fingers already pressing into the Samurai's entrance," want to repeat that?" with the way Allen felt right now he could be either cruel or submissive to the samurai.

Kanda stilled almost frozen and refused to move. Shivering he wouldn't meet the other.

Another tug, "I said do you want to repeat that?" he wouldn't go any farther if Kanda didn't answer so he stopped his fingers pressing against the Samurai's prostrate pressing harder and hard each second he didn't answer.

"...ah...AH! Allen!" Kanda finally had enough; this wasn't going the way he wanted not at all. Kanda shoved the teen back off of him.

He fell backwards against the couch gazing at him and smirked wiped the spot where Kanda broke open his lip," being submissive really doesn't suit you Kanda but I do appreciate the offer." he said with a smile.

Kanda didn't look at the teen,"che" after calming down a bit Kanda decided it was time to try and take back the control. Kanda turned around and walked back up the black haired teen. "I think I should rethink the way I'm going to treat you tonight". Taking hold of one of Allen's hand and pinning it above his head. "Now it my turn"

His lips turned up in a smirk as he leaned back into the wall, "that's more like it" he said.

"well if that's how you want it then let's get this on the road then" Kanda's voice went as low has it could has his lips covered the teen and sealing with such a passionate kiss that would make even make road blush.

The following morning Allen was very content satisfied his heart pounding pleasantly in his chest the sensation of not being able to walk making him beyond happy, "mmm." he rolled snuggling into the warmth of the thick blankets and smell of lotus flower.

Kanda smirked watching Allen sleeping last night the samurai proved that he can too top.

He raised a soft silver eye to the dark samurai's own,"....mmm? Happy?" he asked pushing himself up some.

"Very" Kanda stated smirking down on his lover.

"Humph" he pressed his face into the pillow and sighed content, "It's been so long...I'm just sorry I had to piss you off in order to get It." he said.

"Che" Kanda sits up on his elbows looking down at the black haired man. "You just like it rough" Kanda leaned close "and you like begging me for more"

"Don't get cocky there" he said with a frown now, "I'm not the one who played drama queen last night now am I?" he questioned.

The older teen bites down on his earlobe. "But it worked didn't it"

"Humph all you had to do was ask." he said turning away then sat up, "ugh I should have a shower before this dries." he said touching some of the sticky white fluid on his abdomen.

Kanda took Allen's finger licking off the drying cum "want some help?"

"Heh sure but I'm sure I'd get cleaner without your help." he knew Kanda was deprived from the last couple months.

"Che" Kanda rolled over out of the bed slipping on his pajamas."Whatever, just finish your shower lets go into town, we need to get you some new clothes not that I don't like seeing you in mine but you might be more comfy"

"Yeah I'd like something that actually fit." he said and slipped from the bed with little difficulty even if it had been a while he found he could still accept Kanda without much problem. When he finished his shower he got dressed and came out to meet the dark samurai, "I'm ready." he said.

"Then let's go.....moyashi" the samurai said leaving the cabin not even looking back to see if the young man was following.

He frowned, "Baka" he said walking after him and managing to keep up it was surprising if anyone paid enough attention they would notice that Allen was now only a couple inches shorter than the samurai.

Walking down the dirt road that would lead into the village below, Kanda kept on replaying these last few months in his mind. He was told they would never be free, told that no matter what they will pay for spitting in god face. but really if there really is a god why would he care it's not like god really ever cared for him in the first place why would he now, but what about Allen the boy with a future in front of him and Kanda had changed that forever.

Allen followed behind Kanda he didn't care much he wasn't faced with much of a choice even when he had been born his future was snatched when his mother though he was possessed. Possessed by demons by creatures...evil creatures that swallowed his soul whole. He was twisted but it didn't matter because if he could create a future with Kanda that's what he wanted.

"So where should we start" Kanda stated not really waiting for an answer, and walking towards the first shop that came in view."13, what a lucky number" Kanda said as he walked in.

Allen followed and looked around the store not really sure what to think of it. Allen suddenly turned red and turned his gaze up only to look back down at the floor this was a very embarrassing shop, "u...uh...Kanda lets go."

Kanda looked back to Allen and seeing him blush he turned towards Allen "why moyashi? What's wrong?" He said as he leaned in close.

"This shop its..It's for um...its um.." a woman came from the back and blinked before smirking," oh you boys interested in our adult specialties?" she asked.

Kanda look from the clerk and back to his blushing lover and that smirk came back" why yes we are" Kanda pushed Allen towards the women "well he is more then I"

Allen suddenly gasped, "W...wha...WHAT?" he grabbed Kanda's arm, "what are you talking about!" the woman smiled, "awe how shy so cute" she grinned, "what exactly are you looking for?" she asked.

Kanda handed Allen over to the clerk "something special for him, something really unique" Kanda's smirk grew.

She nodded," oh I think I know what would work well for this cutie." she said and took him in back and after a bit some cries of protest and Allen was shuffled out dressed in a flirty maid uniform sporting a wig,"....a.....b...baka!"

Kanda laughed he actual laughed Allen looked cute! Kanda walked up to Allen wrapping his arms around him. "now only if you had a bow"

"Don't push it...." he growled irritatedly, "I want out of this thing now! I'm not a woman." he stated..

"oh but moyashi you look so good in this" Kanda presses his body close and whispers "it makes me want to eat you up"

He growled," its ALLEN" he yelled and spelt it out," A-L-L-E-N!! got it!" he pushed away and walked back to begin changing, "stupid perverted Samurai." he actually missed Kanda's cold exterior it was much more pleasant to be around...he stopped though when he thought that...did he prefer Kanda's cold exterior to Kanda at all. Despite he felt...angry at the samurai but he didn't know why. Was it because he left...no...was it because he had changed...maybe but he knew they had fought more in the last couple days then they had in the first week they'd met each other..."Kanda..." he sighed before slipping on his clothes and walking out to meet him," let's go to an actual clothing shop." he said.

Kanda noticed the sudden change ' maybe he is finally realizing that this won't work' Kanda told himself 'I knew he would second think this once we were in the real world, better keep it cool' Kanda started walking towards the door "let's go then"

He walked ahead of him and then stopped after a bit and turned to look at Kanda, "Kanda..." he said.

Kanda just kept on walking ignoring Allen and 'come on I don't want to be here all day"

He blinked and watched, the pentacle twitched within his left eye and he sighed, "never free..." he murmured and when Kanda would turn around again Allen would be gone.

To say that Kanda was shocked would be a lie he knew this would happen they could never really be together not with the world as it is "your right never free" but little did Kanda know that he was not alone watching the young man walking out, on him."HQ this is coco bitter I found him, I found the traitor"

A/N: Hello my loyal and faithful subjects!!! .:: Gets pelted with hardcover books::. Ooh this is a good one.:: gets hit again and falls down::. Ehem back to what I was saying I deprived you for a few long months of this story! And I apologize. .:: starts dialling 911 for emergency ambulance::. But thanks to the magical writing gods I have managed to bring you this chapter and many more to come yes I realize they are fairly short but I tried my best hopefully this will feed your appetites till i get the next chapter. Again I do not have a current beta so I edited best I could. .:: tosses out Allen and Kanda plushies to adoring fans::. Constructive criticism is always welcome flames will be used to roast my marsh mellows. Read and Review!


	10. To love an Exorcist

"Jessie" Silver eyes turned towards the voice and the young man raised his head to the person addressing him," You've worked really hard today why don't you come inside it looks like its gonna rain soon" asked a young woman she was about his age and skinny with long flowing brown hair held back in a single red ribbon, "I thought it might snow but I just need to fill the horses water trough and then I'm done "He said, "I'll come in as soon as I am done I promise Teresa" he said and she smiled fondly, "Alright I'll tell my mother to grab some extras for you." she said turned to run inside of all the stable hands she liked Jessie the most he was so gentle and always smiling but he looked lonely and she was sure he missed his family that's why. "Hmm" She wondered if Jessie had been married or if he had a family before but they were about the same age so she wasn't sure. The boy addressed as Jessie made his way into the stabled and smiled to the black horse, "Hey Kanda." he said petting the creatures muzzle with his gloved hand,"...how you feeling today." he said kneeling down to Check the horses leg, "better?" he flexed it lightly before standing up and grabbing a brush to lightly brush out it beautiful mane, "I brought you some extra alp alpha." he smiled. as the horse whinnied at him," he sat up on the pen gate, "I wonder if Yuu's doing okay,...it's been about half a year." he said it truthfully had. He'd left half a year ago when he sensed the Akuma coming and he'd been living in a peaceful village in Germany up until now. He hadn't even or thought about the Order in that time nor had he seen a single Akuma.

"his right over there man don't let him go "Screamed the exorcist. Kanda had never seen more lambs for the slaughter Kanda smirked has he smeared the blood off his blade and cheek. "it doesn't matter imp not going back there, alive at least". Over the past six months Kanda has been hunted, hunted by the order and with not much like luck on either side. taking care of the finders was easier but the problem was the lotus was still growing and with how much he had to heal himself as of late he figured it wouldn't be much time now till it was truly over. One after another Kanda was sure that they numbers must of grown, he was sure that the only reason they wanted him back was just for more experiments but he wasn't going to do that not if he could. He was just passing through the borders of Germany; word was that Akuma didn't like that area for a reason.

"You can have tomorrow off Jessie you've worked really hard the last few days and it should be real nice tomorrow after rain so you can go into town if you like." said Teresa's father and He pleased,"..a...h um okay." he said, "He can accompany me papa I need to go into town anyways to get some goods." she smiled and he nodded, "Please do Jess" "Yes sir I'll take good care of your daughter" Teresea smiled and gave a gentle giggle. That night Jessie or Allen as we like to call him laid peacefully in his bed even as the rain stormed outside. He heard his bedroom door click open and opened his eyes rubbing the sleep from them, "who...who's there?" he asked and saw someone with long hair coming in for a second he thought it was his samurai but was soon shocked to see it was Teresa dressed in her white nightgown walking towards his bed, "Jessie I can't sleep..can..can I stay in here tonight." "Ah...b..but Teresa this...this is inappropriate" he said as she began to peel back the covers on the bed, "It's okay I won't say anything if you won't Jessie just for tonight." she said and he couldn't say no to her pleading gaze as he moved over and let her get in the bed with him he sighed lightly turning his back to the girl even as she snuggled closer to him for warmth,"...thank-you." he heard her whisper and he closed his eyes, "you're welcome."

That night was the same as the others cold and broken hiding under a stone bridge to keep warm. "goodnight my moyashi" Kanda played with the necklace gave to him on his birthday before all of this shit happened "sleep well and be safe" Kanda closed his eyes as the fire roar came to an end, and Kanda prayed that that soon would be himself as well for he was tired too tired.

The warm morning found Allen escorting Teresa through the Market the girl had decided to detour to shops and such before returning to her original goal but he had a sinking feeling that the girl had wanted this to be a date as she kept holding his arm and pulling him into shops to ask his opinion on a dress and hates and all others things he wasn't acquainted with even treating him to lunch.

Kanda moaned has he tried to warm himself up in the cafe that he came by slipping into the corner. He had cut his hair a while ago it just barely hovered below his shoulders "and what can I do for you sir?"asked the waitress "green tea" was all he said looking out the window. This village seemed peaceful but kanda knew that just like all the rest it would last for long.

"Jessie in here this place has amazing dishes." called a young woman as she entered the cafe, "Coming Teresa" came the voice...that long lost voice, "just let me put these down." he placed the items in a corner out of the way before the girl latched onto his arm, "Table for two?" "yes" "Right this way" Allen was lead begrudgingly towards a window seat table and sat down after he had helped seat the young lady, "What would you like to drink?" "Come pineapple juice please" "and your sir....sir...SIR!" Allen pulled his eyes away from the table with a shake of his head, "oh..uh..earl gray.." he said and the waitress nodded his sensed had been assaulted by the scent of lotus flowers.

Kanda was watching the crowds outside 'these people they don't know anything about the real world are the pain that follows' Kanda looked down as the green tea was placed before him "will that be everything "kanda didn't even look up this time "for now he said in a low voice almost ice cold, going back to watch the people. "hey Jenny check out that cutie of a Asian that merle gets to wait on" one of the waitress stated returning to the bar. "I know and his black navy hair looks so touchable".

"Jessie y'know I was thinking since were almost always together and such maybe y'know we cou-" "Tersea" she froze and silence fell over the two, "Listen your a beautiful sweet kind and polite girl..but I'm..I'm not interested in you in THAT way." he said, "I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything but I got hurt once before and I'm not looking for any relationships." he explained.

"You beautiful and kind and any man to have you would be absolutely lucky but I'm not that person..you'd just be unhappy with me." he said and she seemed to be taking this very well,"...don't you mean you'd be unhappy with me?" she asked and he gazed at her, "no..no! I think I'd be bloody lucky but Teresa I'm not that person you're looking for." he said, "please understand." the sound of a chair being pushed out and someone walking was heard before, "what are you-" Allen was silenced as he was kissed by Teresa what was it with him and being kissed by women. She pulled back after a couple minutes, "you won't even change your mind now..." she asked her voice soft,"...I'm...sorry Teresa...I can't." She sighed and sat down, "well I understand I was just hoping maybe one day." she said with a forlorn smile.

Kanda saw a young couple kissing in the cafe 'lucky "he thought has he stood up too leave leaving money on the table it was about time he was on his way he can't stay in one place for too long or he would start thinking about him.

"Jessie can...I know your real name at least" he'd said his name was Jessie he wouldn't use his real name for the fact of their safety and they'd accepted it and he sighed, "Allen..." he said softly, "Allen walker".

She smiled leaning forward her hands folded under her chin, "Allen Walker...that's a nice name" she smiled.

Kanda turned around hearing that name 'it couldn't be'

"Are you hungry you could probably order the whole menu huh? go ahead I saved up a lot of money for this so go ahead." she smiled and he blushed, "I'll just have a sandwich I don't think you could afford my appetite." he smiled softly earning a giggle.

"che no one could afford your appetite not at meals and not in bed" Kanda said in a low voice as he passed by their table not stopping to see if they heard or not cause he knew that if he did stop then he would fall, fall in love again ,and once again fail to protect his lover.

Allen heard it though from years of training to hear even the slightest sound...to protect against Akuma and his eyes widened and before he realized it his legs were moving and he was walking quickly quicker and quicker until he grabbed the owner of the voice,"...K...K...anda" he breathed the resolve he'd held bursting inside.

Kanda turned around grey eyes meeting his, and it happened he fell he fell just looking at him hit him hard. "Che moyashi"

He looked up at him, "Its Allen...Bakanda" he murmured and then closed his eyes as he heard the gentle clicking behind him and the feel of cold metal pressed to the back of his head,"...Teresa" he murmured with sadness.

A/N: I think I'm adding far too much angst but i figured a small change of pace I want to get Kanda and Allen back on track here cause they've been real OOC which kind of seriously sucks but I liked this chapter because though I know I could probably make it so there are more in between stories I really don't want to deviate from the original plot. Again seriously what is it with Allen and getting molested by non-human things? He's just so huggable. Anyways read and review my loyal subjects! .:: dodges tomato::. Hah missed me! .:: gets hit with cabbage::. ....yea just...review.


	11. Turn Tables

"Teresa" he murmured with sadness, "If I can't have you no one can..I thought maybe Allen..you and I...." she murmmured, "I made them all go away I made the Akuma go away so that you and I together we could be together in the farm...I would kill them so you and I could be together alone with no one to both us..." she said. Allen could already hear the people scramble out the back in a panic, "us just us....but you didn't want that!" she said her voice breaking into that of an Akuma's, "SO IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU NO ONE CAN!" she screamed and burst from the shell that held her true form.

Kanda drew his sword out pushing Allen behind him "you always seem to attack the dangerous ones" Kanda scowled pointing Mugen at Teresa's form.

Allen grabbed Kanda's arm," no..." he said holding it, "let me." he said moving in front of the swords man, "I'm sorry "he murmured to the Akuma and Activated his crown clown it was a magnificent sight to see after all this time except his hair was black and his cowl had turned just as black. he held out his hand to Teresa, "I shall deliver you from sin to the hands of the mighty savoir." he recited to her and she screamed She raised up a strange mutated arm and began too fire off the deadly bullets that killed thousands no millions of innocent individuals for the Earls disgusting pleasures. Allen dodged sideways but tripped over a chair (so much for not being rusty) and crashed against a table. He managed to jump out of the way just in time as she shot another bullet at him, 'Teresa let me end your suffering' he thought.

The Akuma spun itself several tentacle like things unfolding around her as she grabbed anything destroying the shop slowly,"damn it" he cursed and sighed, "I'm sorry Teresa" this distracted her long enough for him to lunge and bring his crown clown down upon her, "Bring salvation to this pitiful soul" he whispered.

Teresa screamed and began to flail but within moments and minimal damage the Akuma broke away and fell to pieces Allen held the hand of the soul who he had spent the last six months with, "Go to heaven and rest in peace." he murmured to it before it fell away as if glitter, "Amen." he deactivated and turned to gaze at Kanda.

"Always such a drama queen" Kanda looked to his...What was Allen to him now? a lover?..No they broke up six months ago but Kanda couldn't just say it.

"I've known for a few months now...shortly after her sister passed away...she levelled up surprisingly quick though..." he said softly, "She smelt of blood and was always cold to the touch...I just I was hoping if she stayed happy she wouldn't hurt anyone." he said.

Kanda touched Allen's cheek out of instinct "you can't save them all"

"I know...but I can try to save some." he said leaning into that touch, "you feel so cold." he whispered and leaned forward moving so he was holding Kanda, "it's okay...sleep" he said softly, "I promise I'll still be here when you wake up." he murmured.

Kanda put Mugen away, "che what makes you think I'm tired brat "Kanda slowly stated his eyes getting heavier with every step," We're still at the cafe that you damaged" Kanda's thoughts started to drift.

"It's okay...I'll fix it." he murmured to the samurai as he felt him grow heavy, "just sleep you have a fever." he murmured.

"You don't know what you're talking a...about--." Kanda passed out falling into the young man.

He smiled, "I promise this time...." he hugged him closer, "This time I'm not running away." he said and kissed the top of Kanda's head feeling sad that the man had cut his beautiful long hair.

Kanda found himself hours later in a soft bed something he hadn't been in for a long time. He noticed he was still in his clothes a torn black mussel shirt and messed up black jeans. His tattoo had grown on his body it has almost taken over his entire left side but of course the marking seemed to be mixed with the scars that refused to heal anymore. They covered his body in random parts. He looked around the room where he currently was it was fairly spacious with a large fireplace with a fire going inside it and a round wooden table and two chairs placed at it. Against the far wall by the door was a wardrobe made of study oak and a warm colored tapestry carpet was placed in the middle of the floor.

The bed he was in was warm and comfortable and for the first time in a long time he felt truly relaxed. "Mmm" moments later the panic set in where was Allen it hadn't been a dream it couldn't have been. As he was about to shoot up and out of the bed he heard the door opening.

Allen came into the room currently at an Inn he had some folded clothes and a warm meal of soup and bread was on a tray on the end table, "your awake." he said with a smile, "you really should eat something." he said placing the items on the table and walking over to place the tray in Kanda's lap after helping him sit up, "I didn't know exactly what kind of clothes you'd like so I just grabbed what I thought would suit you." he stated.

Kanda just watched Allen go through the movements 'this is a dream, and I don't want to wake"

Suddenly something was shoved into kanda's mouth...and it definitely was not soba. "Eat its cream of vegetable soup." he said with a smile," it's good, so eat It." he said.

Kanda let the soup fill his belly with warmth "your here" Kanda was still in a daze mumbling to himself "why"

"I'd had six long months to think about everything...why we are here, Why we do what we do, why we grieve, or feel happiness." he said looking down," Why we get angry or excited and I couldn't think of why until now." he said, "We need to in order to live in order to human we can't survive without the pain or sadness the happiness we need it and it needs us." he said looking at Kanda "We blamed the order for what happened and that was wrong...It's not gods fault that we are the way we are its the people who run it." he said, "they said we committed sins and that's a lie because...because we wouldn't be the way we are if god didn't intend for it to be that way." he said then looked at the samurai, "we blamed them our friends...for someone else's mistake." he stated. "And I want to correct that some how...but I'm not sure how..." he said.

Kanda took hold of Allen's cursed hand and slowly brought them together "well you could start here" Kanda sealed the distance between them tasting the lips he hadn't tasted in SIX BLOODY MONTHS and he was in need.

He accepted the kiss with happiness and then gently ran his fingers through Kanda's soft hair,"you cut it" he whispered to the swordsman, "I liked it when it was long." He smiled,

"It just ended up getting in the way it was a real nuisance after a while." He admitted sheepishly, "What did you lose all your hair ties?" though the hair was still very long it wasn't as long as it had been reaching the samurai's hips. "When you're running from finders and exorcists you tend to lose things." Kanda stated gruffly as he shifted in the bed some, "I'll go get you some new ones when I go back into town." He said earning a slight hint of a smile.

"Do you miss them as much as I do?' Allen finally asked breaking the short silence that had engulfed them.

"You mean Linalee and the rest?"

"Yeah"

Another silence engulfed them and Kanda sighed ruffling his own hair some, "Yeah I miss them too...it's a little boring without Lavi's antics" he admitted grudgingly.

Kanda heard a gentle giggle and raised his eyes to Allen who was covering his mouth with a smile giggling uncontrollably,"What's so funny?" he snapped at the boy, "I miss Lavi's pranks as well." He said it had been funny to hear Kanda actually admit to missing Lavi since he always seemed to hate the red head.

"Tch...shut up" said the samurai as he turned away from Allen crossing his arms.

Allen chuckled as Kanda pouted. "Same as always" he commented.

"Now what?" questioned the samurai.

"What do you mean by, 'now what'?"

"I mean what do are we gonna do now?" asked Kanda as he reached and grabbed Allen's hands.

He smiled gently giving Kanda's hands a reassuring squeeze, "Well for starters let's get that fever down." he said his lips a breath away from the Samurai's own," and then...we'll turn that order inside out and destroy that fucking Earl" he smiled a little of the 14th's personality slipping out.

"Fuck ya" kanda agreed, "Moyashi" Kanda smirked one more time kissing the younger man with enough passion to make up for all the pain they went through

"That's Mr. Moyashi to you" stated Allen and for the first time ever or in such a long while Allen heard Kanda laugh.

"Yea...Yea...sure" Kanda smirked," Whatever you say bean sprout" and he kissed him again sealing the deal with a passionate kiss.

A/N: .... I've got nothing to say about this chapter except I liked it and I hoped you did too so PLEASE review or I might not put up anymore chapters I honestly value the opinion and feedback from my fellow readers and authors so PLEEEEEEASE review. Thank-you.


	12. Fox and Rabbit

The next morning found Allen brushing out Kanda's clean hair and tying it up with some hair ties he'd bought at the market the wounds on Kanda finally healing properly thanks to proper treatment and the fact that he'd had a proper meal,"...Kanda all those scars should go away now that you've been properly fed without enough nutrition your regeneration abilities begin to lack." he said.

Kanda leaned into Allen's touch still misses his long hair but at the same time not "it doesn't matter anyways these scars don't bother me" Kanda traced the scar under his eye.

He grasped his hand, "I'm sure they don't but they are proof you weren't taking care of yourself and that enough too worry me." he said," to let yourself go this much is frightening even if you were being chased." he said with a light scolding tone. "But I guess I should just be glad that your alive and safe." he said as he let go of the Samurai's hand. He'd helped Kanda bathe and had called a doctor to look at the ex exorcist earlier, " I'll go ask the Inn keeper for some food do you can take your medicine you should get back into bed and wait." he said with a soft smile walking towards the door.

"Hey" Kanda stated getting up from the bed his cloths barely staying on his body.

He stopped to look back at the swordsman," What is it Kanda?" he asked gently. He'd also bleached his hair back to its natural color of white.

"A moyashi has no right in telling me what to do" kanda smirked, a dark look in his eyes.

He smiled and walked forward and with just the slightest push he sent the samurai tumbling back into the bed with a smirk, "I'm sure a bean sprout wouldn't have any right to tell you what to do but I assure I'm no longer a bean sprout I'm just about the same height as you." he said sitting down and then kissed Kanda's lips softly, "But we have more important things to think about right now besides sex."

"Che, your always be a moyashi no matter how tall you get" the samurai look Allen up and down. "And what prey tell makes you think I want sex with you"

"You have that same look as you always did" he said and stood up again, "I'll be right back." he said and left the room quietly. The last few hours with Kanda had been the best. Even if he was nursing the man back to health he still couldn't deny the love he fell for the other or how much he'd missed him in the last six months. He'd even missed celebrating his birthday with the samurai he couldn't believe that either it had been an entire year since he'd first left the order and been dragged back. Now he was planning to overturn it and kill the Earl.

As Allen asked the Inn keepers wife for food he didn't notice the eyes watching him from across the room.

A long absence, A half a year ago had been a long time. So when they were given orders to kill two people close to them, it'd been pretty damn hard to just grasp the fact. Lavi really wasn't at all willing but it was something the Order wished so he had to do that and had even gotten reprimanded by Bookman to do it. That would explain why when he spotted the teen, he'd hesitated. "...Allen just don't move, okay?" Lavi wanted to keep this simple. His Innocence was clenched in one hand, ready to activate it but he really didn't want it to come to that. Hesitation and hurt showed beneath a cracking facade of false calm and he knew Linalee was just as hesitant to do this. They only stood a bit from where the teen was and yet he didn't move from where he stood. He really had to do this. No matter how it hurt.

"Here you are young man I hope your friend gets better soon." said the Inn keepers wife, "Thank-you very much." he said taking the trays," I'm still very grateful for you letting us stay so suddenly." she smiled waving her hands," oh its fine you're so polite." she smiled and slipped him an extra piece of bread," here." He gave a gentle smile," Thank-you." he turned and saw a flash of red and stopped gazing towards the direction he'd seen the color not noticing Lavi though he made his way up the stairs and too the room, "Kanda I'm back." he said walking towards the bed and placing the tray of food on the swordsman's lap," here." he offered up the medicine, "Take it...It's bitter but it'll make you feel better" he smiled.

Kanda took the medicine form the dark haired teen "che, this doesn't feel right you taking care of me"

"Too bad you should of taken better care of yourself." he stated offering him the tea next.

He drank the tea, "I think we shouldn't stay here much longer moyashi. If we get to comfy they find us"

"I know but with your fever I don't want you moving around too much." said the Teenager," let's just wait it out as long as we possibly can." He said relaxing some. Downstairs Linalee was pleading with Lavi, "let's not do this lets just call home and say their lead was wrong and we never found them." she said.

A sigh and Lavi ran a hand through his hair with a flicker of sadness and hesitation clear on his face on his features showing. He shook his head and frowned a bit. "...I want to do that too but... wouldn't it be better if we were the ones who found them instead of someone else?" Even he looked like he was having mental debates even saying these things. "Besides...I... we wait too long and they're gonna vanish on us again..." The bookman heir sighed, glancing down as he spoke.

Kanda got up from the bed and kissed Allen quickly "we better not wait" Kanda walked over and took hold of Mugen.

He grasped his arm, "Kanda your going to make yourself even sicker!" he said with concern. Linalee felt tears welling up and held back a sob," but Lavi they are our friends they saved our lives more times than I can remember! What have they ever done that's caused us harm?"

Kanda got a dark look in his eyes "it doesn't matter as long as I take one of them with me"

Lavi was silent for a moment and a small growl of mixed anger and sadness left his lips. "Absolutely nothing, I have...Every bone in my body saying not to do it but if we lie and the Order finds out that's not gonna be any better. I know they'd be better off but we...We have to do something, anything. "Lavi hesitated then and he bowed his head, bangs hiding his singular eye."...I just get th' feeling that if we don't do anything, we won't ever see them again..."

Linalee felt a gut decision rising in her stomach and apologized mentally to her brother," Lets join them!" he said grabbing his arm.

That got a surprised look from him and emotions of all sorts flittered over his features. Shit. Would he have to go back on the Order and even the old man himself? Well... he already had emotions like this so wasn't he already too far gone? A sigh and a small, sombre smile replaced the look from before. "...Think they'd just let us in? I mean... to them, we're the enemy and they're not gonna be too forgiving' of what's happened already..." Yeah, he did. He wanted this, to be with Allen and Yuu without fighting. He really missed those old days.

"If we explain...I...I'm sure oh Lavi we have to try I can't just kill them I love them too much!" she said her shoulders shaking," there our family!" she said.

A nod and he tried to ignore the emotions burning a hole into the heart he was not supposed to have. "...I know. Closest to a family I ever had. Bookman'd probably kill me for saying that." A small chuckle and he gave a sort of resigned sigh but in no way did it sound sad, still smiling even now. "...but... if we do this, we can't turn back. Ever, Ready to do that?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow while a serious look stayed focused on his features.

She gazed at him quietly, "I'll probably never see my brother ever again but Allen and Kanda are way to important." she said and gave him a hug," yeah I'm ready for that" she said. "Kanda stop! I won't follow you!" he said stomping his foot," if you get even sicker it'll be a disaster!!"

"Then would you rather die!" kanda turned and looked at Allen's silver eyes, the eyes that made him fall in love for the first and hopefully last time. "I'm not going back"

"Neither am I but you'll get yourself killed with your current condition and I won't allow that!" he said defiantly crossing his arms. He grabbed Kanda's arm trying to pull him back to the bed," so just rest for another day!!" he said only to be stopped by the sudden knock upon the door.

Kanda kisses Allen's cheek before pulling away "then you better make sure I stay alive after this" Smirking kanda pulled on his jacket and tightly gripped unsheathed Mugen.

"wait how do you know if its anyone threatening I'm sure if someone was after us they wouldn't knock!" he said sternly stepping in front of Kanda," it's probably just the inn keepers wife" he scolded and walked to the door, "relax for crying out loud! Stop trying to be macho."

"Che"

He pulled open the door," Can we help you?" he asked but froze immediately eyes widening at the sight before.

Lavi stood there, a sheepish grin on his features. "H...Hey there, bean sprout!" Lavi chimed, affectionately using the nickname. A hand was raised up in greeting. Of course it was gonna be a bit awkward considering everything. "How's it going?" As usual he was gonna try and take this calmly even if he knew Yuu was one to act rather irrationally.

Allen of course not used to sudden surprises and definitely not someone from the order so close panicked and started to pinch himself and ramble on about being sane.

It was a far stretch but he did it anyway. A hand came out and playfully ruffled Allen's hair. "You're fine and not that crazy. Least not yet, See... we're here and uh...Linalee and I had a bit of a suggestion for the both of ya if ya wanna hear us out." Lavi murmured, one of his more real smiles showing now.

Allen suddenly flinched jumping back his innocence hand twitching," if it's about coming back to the order quietly and without a fight then no we refuse." he glared. He didn't want to hurt them but if he had to he would.

A sigh and Lavi shook his head, not even flinching when the pale-haired teen glared at him. He merely raised his hands up before him defensively. "Oi. That's what we originally came here for but... we... both me and Linalee wanted to know if we... could join you..." he trailed off, scratching a bit sheepishly at the back of his head as he spoke. He really did mean this and he just wanted his friends back while he could.

"How can I trust that you're not just here to spy on us" he questioned, "because we aren't Allen!" came Linalee's voice and she stepped out from behind Lavi and he blinked," We are here because we want to be with you both we miss you and we can't kill you like we were told to your our family we love you." she said and Allen didn't know what to do or say.

Lavi nodded in firm agreement of Linalee's words, glancing once back at her before looking back to the other with a grin, "Yeah. We do. I'm not even supposed to but s' a bit late for that. We're willing to finish this fight on your side. That is, if you two will let us"

Allen swallowed heavily he wanted to accept them...god knows he wanted to..but ultimately it came down to Kanda's final word. He felt a little sick at that thought...He needed Kanda's decision. He wondered briefly when he'd become so reliant on the swords man and then looked to them both," are you willing to discard the jackets?" he asked, "Yes!" answered Linalee without hesitation She quickly stripped the black and red coat off letting the metal broach pin against the wooden floor as she stepped over it to hug Allen who hugged her back and it felt good...it felt really good to hug her after so long he missed her he missed the warmth of a friend. He raised his eyes to Lavi, "Even if you leave behind bookman...you're still my friend and Lavi is all the identity you need here." He smiled softly.

A small laugh and it was all he needed to undo the buttons on his jacket, hesitating only once before he closed his eyes and let the coat slip off his shoulders and hit the floor to join Linalee's. "Sounds like a plan to me. The old man'd kill me for it, but right now, you guys kind of matter a bit more than him.." He meant them, even if it was the first ever time he'd turn his back on the man who'd raised him. With that, Lavi stepped a bit into the room confidently, not turning his eye back onto the discarded jacket, "So How about it? Till the end, yeah?"

Allen let go of Linalee with a smirk and grabbed the rabbits hand,"...Till the end my friend." and he yanked the ex bookman into his arms tightly hugging him," Welcome to history." he said.

"Glad t' be a part of it" Lavi chuckled, not at all hesitant in how he hugged the smaller teen back, a bright grin fixed into place. God, this'd been the happiest he'd felt since this whole mess started. Yet when he thought about it, Yuu still had a say in this part and he knew unlike Allen, he'd be a bit more coarse and hesitant to allow this to just happen.

Kanda stared at the friends before him, he knew this was what Allen wanted and needed, more than anything but for some reason kanda himself felt like this wasn't right it shouldn't be this easy.

Linalee looked to Kanda and slowly she walked towards him twiddling her fingers gently, "I...I know it's hard...considering everything that's happened and what's bound to happen but Kanda I'm giving up everything I had at the order to come save you and Allen and I want to continue saving the innocent people of this world...I..I want us you, Me, Allen, and Lavi to be a family again...so please" the tears had already started to well up in her eyes as she waited for his final decision. Allen watched the Samurai waiting hoping that he had enough trust left to trust their friends.

"che, whatever just don't get in my way" was all kanda said has he walked away from the group.

Linalee couldn't help herself as she hugged Kanda quickly, "Thank-you!" she was a little startled by the sudden warmth and heat of the samurai," are you sick?" she asked softly looking up at the samurai," He is he just won't get back in bed" he stated grabbing Kanda's arm," he's refusing me"

A shake of his head and Lavi sighed. "Leave it t' Yuu to ignore it and pretend he's okay when he's not." Of course even now he used the other's name in an attempt to see if it'd get a reaction from him. After all, he missed that and it'd feel more like home, even if it'd likely end with a sword to his neck like before.

Allen walked past Linalee;" now into bed with you" he said and pushed the Samurai towards the comfortable bed, "I mean it you stay here! Especially since I need to get you the proper clothing considering the current ones are too big." and truthfully the Samurai's pajamas were too big and Allen doubted Kanda wanted to face the embarrassment of walking through public in his pajamas.

Kanda shook off Allen" I'm alright damn it" kanda looked towards the other two before leaning in closely to the younger teens ear "why don't you stop worrying about me and take these too out and show them the town," the samurais tongue traced the sliver eyes ear." if you do that giving me peace and quite I'm sure to get some sleep"

He shivered, "Kanda..." he murmured before sighing and pushing the other into the bed," come on let's get you guys some different clothes." he said leading them both out Linalee waved by but stopped only to ask if there was anything Kanda would like.

Once out, Lavi had to fix Allen with a curious look. "So~ you so sure that Yuu's gonna be fine on his own for a while? He didn't exactly look top-notch.." he murmured, hands in his pockets and looking torn between amused and worried. Lavi really was honestly wondering about Kanda since he had taken a long look at the man before they'd left.

"We got separated for six months so I don't know what gone on but when I found him yesterday he was in terrible shape scars everywhere even his clothes were torn and disgusting." he said his gaze cast down," Kanda usually always takes good care of himself but he was so sick I got him medicine and he's started to properly heal even some of the scars are gone now." he said rubbing the back of his head. Linalee was listening intently to the story and feeling pity for the samurai," but I'm sure with a couple days rest he'll be good as new." he smiled.

A contemplative look fell across his features for a long moment before he nodded in agreement. "Yeah. In no time at all he'll be back to his old moody self" Lavi chimed, smile back on his features as he spoke. "So~ where do ya wanna go to get him clothes?" Of course he wanted to keep the mood a bit upbeat despite his worry had only increased hearing Kanda had been in a bad state lately which meant that the lotus had to have been failing on him recently.

"hmm somewhere that sells clothes to skinny men since the clothes I got him yesterday weren't small enough." he said walking down the street, "and we'll need to get you guys some new clothes as well." he smiled and Linalee perked up a little at the mention of new clothes. This made Allen chuckle, all women loved clothes.

A small chuckle and he grinned. "Yeah~ New clothes don't sound too bad, actually" Lavi admitted with a small nod of his head. Considering what they had been wearing for the last while we're getting a bit worn and he felt like getting something new. At least this time, anyway.

"guess we should make sure they are durable clothes too." he smiled and gave his friend another hug. The market was buzzing loudly with activity bringing about different faces and people Allen stood turning to Linalee and gave her enough money to go purchase some clothes for herself and she did so with a gentle thank-you. Allen then turned to Lavi, "There is a shop just down there that sells some clothes I think you might like.." he offered.

Waving a bit to her, he raised an eyebrow and looked to Allen with a small smile and an almost eager look on his face. "Really? I take it that you've been here a while, yeah?" Oh, damn he was actually looking forwards to this since he hadn't spent time with Allen with a while and he was also curious to see what kinds of clothes Allen would be picking out for all of this.

"....six months..I was working on a farm a little ways from here but their daughter became an Akuma a little while after I started working there...and well let's say it's not easy having a Akuma in love with you." he felt bad for having killed Teresa...the day before he knew she was suffering he knew...but he had no choice but to end it on her.

A shrug and he closed his eye for a moment. "...I don't doubt that." Lavi sighed softly before he grinned and reached a hand over to ruffle Allen's hair. "Though asides from that and the matter of Yuu being worse for the wear, you still look like you've been doing well and I'm glad" he murmured softly, reopening his eye and feeling more like himself with the longer he spent with Allen like this. It felt... good. To not be held down by constraints and just be himself and it seemed Allen was one of those few people who could actually let him feel this way where he didn't have to put up a false face.

"I do my best though that reminds me." he grabbed a lock of his black hair, "I need to find some bleach to get rid of the black in my hair." he would go back to his white hair and stop hiding from the world,"..Though things are gonna get a little harder from here on I'm sure they'll be a lot more bare able now with both you and Linalee here." they finally arrived at the shop and inside there were many different selections of clothes in many different colors. Of course Allen went straight for the blacks he found a new kind of love for the dark leather and cotton outfits somewhat like Kanda's own taste. He began sifting for the smallest sizes he could find.

A short nod and a small laugh sounded from him. "...Yeah. Of course it'll be easier with us around. We're not just gonna sit and let 'em take us down, yeah?" he chimed confidently, and once in the store, it was hard not to noticed how Allen went quickly over to the black section which already had him already intrigued. Sure, the kid's hair was black now but he'd never figured Allen to be someone to stick to wearing black and more so, the whole leather thing which made him grin and slink up behind the teen. "So~ this is new, Never figured ya for the guy who likes anything leather, Isn't this something more of what Yuu wears~?" He teased, grinning madly while peering over the other's shoulder, his additional height helping a lot to let him accomplish this.

Allen twitched he'd grown a considerable amount in the last year he was almost as tall as Kanda now but with Lavi's teasing he was tempted," Well I found it more comfortable and alluring y'know." he decided to add," plus it makes Yuu really work for it in bed." he snickered that was a downright lie no he liked it because I was comfortable and it fit him better than anything else, "Of course I wouldn't expect you to understand Lavi Its been what six years since you got laid?" he said letting black Allen talk for himself," Of but then again I don't think you've ever properly worn leather have you." he chuckled.

Oh. Well he hadn't seen that coming. The whole first part made him a bit amused, yeah. But the second part was what made him stop from saying a word at all to the first. Not to mention a mixed look of slight indignation and surprise had fallen onto his features. "O-Oi! That's a damn exaggeration. It's been way less time since I was with a girl like that" He huffed, a bit insulted but not in a bad way. Though he did pause a bit at the last words which made him think a bit. "Well...Outside of the second uniforms we had... not really." Lavi admitted, scratching at the back of his head as he said that.

He snickered," hehe then here these should be about your size." he said shoving some leather pants muscle shirt and short sleeve jacket into the rabbits arms, "Try that on and I'm sure you'll get with a girl perhaps.." he nudged him, "Linalee or if you're not into that I'm sure me and Kanda could make room for you." he smiled innocently.

Blinking at the clothes, he was about to ask about them when the younger teen said that last part and the mere idea made his eye go widen and his cheeks darkened with a blush. "O-Oi!! Allen... what're you.. you know Yuu wouldn't even think about that sorta thing with me involved and..." A bit rambling on now, he trailed off and sighed, looking down. "...t-that's not even the point here!!" Yeah, he was horribly trying to cover up his blushing by changing the subject...somehow.

He pushed him into the changing area, "Just try then on." he was resisting the urge to fall down laughing loudly. Poor Lavi was trying so hard to hide it but he couldn't help sneaking in the last shot as he closed the changing room curtain," but of course I'm sure your just dying to have a taste and tumble in our bed sheets." he said.

Nodding as he was shoved into the changing area, he went to speak but was stopped by that last comment Allen couldn't help but give as he shut the curtain. His eye went wide and he spluttered a bit since he was a bit at a lack of words and had to admit. Damn the kid had become bolder, hadn't he? Shaking his head, he moved to carefully get into the outfit Allen's picked out, pausing only once as he was pulling on the shirt. "...You know, Allen.. keep teasing me like that and I might just do it.." he called out to the other, finishing pulling on the shirt and coat. Lavi then easily pulled open the curtain and took a few steps out. There wasn't many words to describe him then at this moment. The leather exquisitely clung to his legs and backside deliciously, the shirt nicely complimenting the pants and showing off his impressively muscled torso, the coat only adding to the look over all, his hair also down from his bandanna as well.

Okay so truthfully Allen...He'd opened his big mouth...and now he was eating his words. He was absolutely one hundred percent devoted to Kanda but god damn it Lavi knew how to wear leather, so much so that Allen couldn't help but drool some and as he realized he was doing it he wiped it away and looked away defiantly grumbling something incoherent. He was actually considering inviting Lavi for some fun he bit his lower lip," looks real good." he finally said peeking out at the rabbit from the corner of his eye, "very good." he added afterwards not wanting to admit defeat but damn it! if he hadn't been attracted to Kanda he was sure he would of pounced Lavi first chance he got.

Not that Lavi would admit to it, but damn. He was more than amused that he'd gotten this reaction out of the other, watching with a small smirk along his lips as the younger teen looked away, that small smirk only growing a bit at the other's words. "Thanks~ don't really wear leather but it's actually not too bad~"he commented, tugging a bit on the coat and he actually looked impressed at the outfit.

He made a sound and turned away picking up the outfits he'd been looking at beforehand," well if you like it buy." he said back completely straight," n...n...not like I care." he said glancing back shyly over his shoulder before looking away again and marching off to buy from the merchant.

"Riiiight~~" Lavi grinned devilishly and in a matter of a minute or two, he'd changed back into his clothes and went after Allen to buy the clothes with a huge grin on his face still from before. Oh, he'd seen the look on Allen's face and buying these clothes... he wanted to see more of those loos, if only to get him back from before. That and he enjoyed the feel of wearing leather more than he had expected.

Meeting up with Linalee she smiled showing all the clothes she'd found at great bargains, "that's wonderful." even if it was a little more to carry he guessed it was alright. "Let's get back to the Inn I'm sure Kanda's awake and hungry so We should get something to eat as well." he smiled gently at the others, "Alright I also got Kanda a bunch of new hair ties." She said and Allen blinked he'd just bought Kanda a bunch of new ties the day before.

A chuckle and he shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, That's not too bad. Considering the rate Yuu runs out of hair ties, he's gonna need em~" He joked playfully before looking a bit more serious. "...But for now, why don't we get back as Allen suggested, hmm~?"

She nodded, "alright." As they made their way back Allen couldn't help the feeling of increasing worry, he felt really anxious and he couldn't quiet pin point it.

A/N: Yay! Long chapter really long chapter! I don't know what it was like 7 and a half page? Maybe more it was 4,995 words; Yay for me! I finally delivered sorry if there's a lot of grammar mistakes I used a grammar and spell check system so I'm hoping it's a lot better for you all please enjoy AND REVIEW! Please....I would love some suggestions.


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